Good morning,
I really appreciate you stopping by Kin. I hope you are doing well and your kicking the crap out of this addiction.
I had a conversation with my wife the other night about my gambling. We talked, well mostly I talked and she listened, about how my mindset and my goals have drastically changed over the last two weeks. I want better for myself and I want better for my family. With gambling, all i would focus on is my next bet or my next deposit. There were no thoughts of saving up for a car or saving for a house, heck no. I just wanted $100 to put into my account and when I lost that (which I always did eventually) I wanted $200 and before you know it; my entire paycheck was gone without any bills being paid. Incredibly sad but true. Having said that, while it was sad, it feels like a new life with my new mindset and mind frame. My biggest regret is I did not stop gambling way earlier, however, I have tried to not be so hard on myself when it comes to that because yes I caused a lot of problems but maybe I wasn’t ready. I’m not sitting here saying I have it all figured out after 2 weeks because I surely don’t. This addiction can pop up at any moment. I have a long way to go. I have barriers in place to help me (mostly the gamban which has been incredible) and I have a daily commitment to myself; all of which can help me be successful but ultimately I have to make the daily decision to stay away from this terrible addiction.
After that rant, I guess what I’m trying to say is gambling changes us for the worse. We might not know it at the time or in the moment but when you step away, its easy to see how this addiction controls our every move. Yes some people can manage it with discipline but not me. That rush of winning or watching a game with a wager on the line is a feeling that I want all day, not just in situations where I have the advantage (like disciplined sports betters do). I’m not that person so I cannot place even one wager because I will give way to everything I have built over these last 2 weeks. I hope all of you have a great day!
🙂