Hey Kin I’m doing ok. Just working my butt off running a few jobs on my own and doing my recovery stuff. I had some issues with my partner becoming verbally abusive so I kicked him out till he works on his dry drunk behaviors. I’ve started healing big time in my codependent behaviors I don’t take any crap from anyone anymore. As soon as people start treating me disrespectfully I stand up for myself. I grew up with alot of abuse so I seem to end up with partners who are overly controlling and aggressive. My current bf has only been sober 6 months but he’s a good example of white knuckling it. I tried to get him to meetings and he went but not unless I took him. I read literature with him and even did the beginnings of stepwork with him to get used to answering questions with someone he trusted but he couldn’t shake it once it got to the look at himself stuff. He had a trauma counselor for a short stint which helped because he finally was able to tell me everything he’s gone through he never told anyone before. But I had to put my foot down now because I said I’m not going to be with another dry drunk. Every bf I’ve had is because they refused to do the work in recovery they figured being sober was enough but it’s not. That’s why I advocate so much on the importance of doing the inner work. That’s why I wrote so throughly in the beginning of my gambling recovery because I new I had to heal alot of stuff about myself. I ended up gambling because I to became a dry drunk I stopped working a program and doing steps I completely pulled away from working on what makes me an addict. The fact is I’m a person that comes from a life long history of trauma as most if not all addicts I’ve met have. The addictions themselves aren’t the problem it’s us as people,the shit between our ears. We’re psychologically wired different and that means continuous work to keep on top of that. I use my partner as an example in my writing right now because it’s a reminder to me who I don’t want to be in my recovery. I feel like I’ve woken up alot in the last year and I’m proud of that because being miserable and treating others like crap is not how I want to live.
