Hi
I get what you are saying completely. We have to write the money off as if it was a bad investment.
The way I am trying to look at it is that I spent all my money on a big trip away. The trip was a real disappointment, I saw some crazy stuff but I learnt things about myself. Now I have come back and have to rebuild things. But to be much better than I was before.
I am on day 26, similar to you I flip between worry about how to manage still and feelings of frustration, anger, remorse, stupidity of why, why, why?
Now I have built up a bit of money in my account again but I know that has to see me through to pay the essentials. In time I can have a good life, but it must be gamble free.
Things can get worse if we continue to gamble. There is a better life out there. Looking at the reasons why we gambled is a big thing and replacing those thoughts, urges etc.
For me I am trying to involve myself in former interests and some new ones, trying to expand my social activity.
I think I gambled for differing reasons. Firstly out of boredom, seeking some excitement, maybe frustration at things that had happened during the day, feelings of little self worth. Secondly and the more devastating was chasing losses.
So now I am trying to do things to improve how I feel about myself. Fitness activities again, eating better again and cutting right back on drinking and smoking. I am engaging in learning a new language to try occupy my mind.
We can rebuild things, we can actually be a better version of ourselves in time, but only if we stay gamble free.
Best wishes, stay positive that this can be done.
