Incident 2
I was late for work, and as I walk out of the station, I remove my surgical mask and put it inside the right pocket in my jacket and pull out my hand.
I did not see anything, but I can feel a piece of wastepaper falling out. I continue walking and ignore what happen, I may have accidentally dropped a litter.
I was already on the next level of the building, I could feel a powerful force inside my body, it was guiding me, and I felt very uncomfortable when I did not listen to this Higher Power because I do not want to do it and continue walking to my working destination. The feeling was so uncomfortable that I actually turn around and go back to double check. I return to the same spot at the basement level to take a look and I saw a familiar piece of wastepaper belonging to me, I pick it up and throw it into the rubbish bin. The uncomfortable feeling immediately disappears after I did the right thing.
I wanted to resist and continue with my ways, but I felt very uncomfortable and give up my wrong way.
I was attracted to do wrongs, but this Power stop me from wrongdoing, and help me to do what I did not want to do or could not do on my own.
Some call this conscience which is a person’s moral sense of right and wrong acting as a guide to one behaviour.
Can I lose my conscience?
After making one bad, destructive, dishonest choice after another to gamble and finding excuses and reasons justifying why I was right and reasonable to gamble so many times. I have successfully bend, twisted, distorted, and change my moral compass so much that I lose my moral sense of right and wrong direction which guide my behavior and action, no matter how terrible it was in my mind.
I hit a new bottom when I was not behaving like a human being anymore but a cornered animal, when I was so desperate to survive by whatever means; I will do and say anything to get what I want so that I can continue to gamble without thinking about the immediate effect on others or the long-term consequences for everyone including myself.
If you are like me, “It’s not that you are not aware, it is more like you do not care enough anymore.
I have lost my conscience and forget what it feels like after so many years.
I was so surprised to experience and recognize this strong feeling again.
I am grateful to my Higher Power. Thank you for the mercy and grace, and the spiritual awakening of my conscience after so long.
- This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by notyoung56.
- This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by notyoung56.
- This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by notyoung56.
- This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by notyoung56.