Thankyou all for the awesome support.
I wanted to talk about what my life’s like now and how I opened up to my new partner about what happened with my gambling. My Bf has been in recovery from other addictions so he understands what happens to the brain ect in addiction. However I had to be open to him I felt, since we now live together and he’s questioned me why I had debt and no money from my house sale. It took me a bit but I was honest with him the exact amount I lost and what led me there. My dad had told me that I didn’t need to explain to anyone again what I did or why. I just felt like my bf deserved to no if he was going to be with me since I have a big debt load weighing on me and I just felt he deserved to no the extend my addictive tendency has gone to so he can decide if he wants to be with me. As I told him I was crying and when I looked at him he was in tears with me. He said it’s only money and we make mistakes he said I’ve made tons in my life but it doesn’t define you as a person for screwing up. He told me he loved me no matter what I’ve done in my past and that we can rebuild a life and financial security again togeather. To hear someone say that was the most profound feeling ever. I tried to avoid another relationship for this reason that I was terrified and so ashamed by what I did. I didn’t ever think a man would understand what would make me loose that kind of money in a blink of an eye to gambling. I’m fortunate that I found a partner who has been through the same traumas as me and has experienced a really hard life so he understands why people do what they do. I wanted to share this to show the people here that hiding our mistakes out of shame doesn’t always have to be the way. It allowed me to feel free actually. The moment I told my family and friends in the beginning of my recovery and now sharing this with my bf and has allowed me to heal and forgive myself properly.