Today is day 6, I joined a GA meeting for the very first time this week, it was wonderful and I’m in acceptance that I am sick, that I can’t gamble responsible and that I am the captain of my ship. So far this week is not very great, I had to borrow money just to survive and I am feeling so ashamed of this. The trust is completely broken between me and my partner, as I lied to her, and I understand where she is coming from. I setup goals, simple ones for now and so far I am marking them off day by day, I need to build good habits in order not to think about gambling. The feeling of being a loser is still with me, and I am sure it will clear with time. One day at a time. I am planning to join another GA meeting this evening as I find a lot of inspiration with this meetings, and learning more that I was able to learn on my own. It is OK not to be OK, and I have to accept that.
