- Tämä aihe sisältää 49 vastaukset, 9 ääntä, ja päivitettiin viimeksi 5 vuotta, 2 kuukautta sitten toimesta.
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So I think it’s best to start with my history with gambling. I started playing when I was 21. I live in Las Vegas and I would only put 20$ in a machine to hang out with my friends and would never bet more than the minimum because I thought gambling was stupid. Somehow from that point I would play blackjack and it was fun and exciting. From there it grabbed a hold of and I was sacrificing time and money that should have been spent on/with my family. I reached a low at that time when my husband basically had to drag me out of a casino after I had cash advanced 5k. He wanted to leave me. I started to go to G.A. and had a good stretch of gambling free time. I was so much happier. A couple years later he leaves anyway and I somehow find myself gambling again, but this time it’s much worse. In the past 2 years I have probably lost around 100k I’m shuffling around credit etc just to stay above water. Every time I have a big loss I go into a serious depression and I tell myself never again and I have usually made it to around 3 months and I start to feel better and then BAM I do the same thing. It’s a viscous cycle that if I don’t stop will be my demise if I don’t find a way to stop. I stumbled upon this site and I want to make a commitment to come here every day and share my struggle and hopefully my success. I’m scared sad hopeless today, but hopeful for tomorrow and the days to come. Friday I called out of work lied to my family to spend all my money and of course didn’t leave until every last penny was gone on Saturday morning. So day 1 here, but day 2 gambling free. Thank you for listening.
Amber -
Hey just wanted to let you know you are not alone in this journey. This addiction is real. And we as a community need to work together to stop it. Sending you strength and hope!
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Yes you are extremely right. Some of the worst things this addiction brings is it turns us into liars and steals our true selves. The amount of time I have blown off with friends and family is just sickening! The thing about getting free of this addiction is we need to be kind on ourselves and realize nothing we change about the past but today. We can own today. Then today turns into tomorrow and we can own that 2, and before we know it we have 30 days. And keep on going.
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Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)
And on that note….
I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
Take care
The Gambling Therapy Team
PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!
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I just read your thread. I have felt every emotion you explained and I feel your pain in your words. It actually breaks my heart to read others threads sometimes. Sometimes I don’t even come on here because I get very emotional and have so much sympathy for what you and others are Going through.. it makes me just want to break down because I can’t help myself or others at times, but I hope through my words and the words of others, today will be a bit easier for you than yesterday, and tomorrow will be a bit easier than today. Like you, I have ruined many special occasions because of this evil addiction. Sneaking away from loved ones on their birthdays to gamble ,New Years eve party leave friends again, go gamble, New Years before leave my girlfriend in tears tk go gamble , mothers days this year Leave my family to go gamble with THEIR money they gave me to pay off debts, these are only a few of the timeC there are plenty more I can name for days. Stuff like this made me feel like a bad boyfriend, friend, and worst of all, SON. But then I realized something. We are good people with a bad addiction. Don’t treat yourself as if you are a bad person, because you are not. You are a good person . I want you to know that. Addiction is not easy to understand for ourselves and for others, but what my councillor has taught me is it’s not us vs us. It’s us vs our brains, and our brains need re wiring. We made a mistake and the worst thing we can do is not
Learn from it, but we might not be able to do it by ourselves. I went tk GA and one on one, I prefer one on one but I should have kept going to GA because you see the rawness of what gambling can do to you. I’ve seen millionaires turn homeless. I’ve seen happy families broken apart from
This evil addiction. There is no bottom to this. I thought my bottom was 10k, then to 15, 20, 25,30,35…. i only had to stop because I had 0$ left to play with. Not one cent left of credit. And part of me is happy that it happened. They say something traumatic has to happen with this before you
Stop. And that was it for me. I know it’s hard and some
Days will be worse than others; but treat yourself with kindness. Be gentle with your self. Don’t tell your mind negative things, that will only make matters worse through
This dark storm. I’m rooting for you
And want you to know you are not alone. You are worth it and you are worth living a happy, gamble free life again. You’ve done it before, so you can do it again. Keep posting, and post if you feel the urge to gamble, my mistake is I would post only after a relapse, I had already failed.
Keep going Amber, one day at a time. -
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Hi Amber,
CONGRATULATIONS on Day 5… keep it going!! Along with many others I’ve been in the same circumstances as you.
I only recently told my kids, the youngest is 16. They said they already knew I had a problem years back. We always seem to underestimate our kiddos. They are smarter beyond their years. I feel much closer to them now that I’ve told them and they help me cope with many things… it’s brought us closer.
My therapist advised me it is good to tell your kids… great communication in all things is usually necessary. He’s a recovering alcoholic and in his experience, informing the kids is a positive and necessary thing because there’s a great possibility that they have addictive personalities as well. That part sucks to hear, I know. But as parents, we always want to protect our kids. By you telling them your story (what you feel is appropriate) will at least give them first hand knowledge of the negative effects of gambling. The only winners are the casinos and gambling establishments.
I hope this helps! Just know I’ll be keeping tabs on you and look forward to hearing all the positives to come into your life now!
Best wishes and take care!
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That’s what we’re here for…. to seek advice, give advice, learn from the bad experiences, share in the good and strive to make each day better, gamble free.
And I’ll take the love, strength and blessings! Thank you 🙂
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That truly is the best way to start the new year Amber!
Keep working at it ! -
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just wanted to say that does seem like a long time and paying for bad choices sucks. I will be paying off my debts for 1-2 years unfortunatel. That being said what is getting me through is knowing if i can do this. I will never have that problem ever again. We do this because it will only get worse and be a problem for the rest of our lives if we don’t tackle it!
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I believe you can live the rest of your days on earth gamble free, I believe you have had enough of the feeling of the damage gambling has done and will continue to do should you continue. I believe you are enlightened and have mental clarity and have found peace in moving forward to brlighter and better days gamble free. Never stop believing in yourself and your ability to live gamble free. You can, I can, we all can if we really want it bad enough. There was a good video I watched from Eric Thomas. Listen to the words when you get a chance. He says ”when you want to succeed, as bad as you want to breathe… then you will be successful” keep going Amber, you got this!!!
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I can’t imagine how difficult it must be to try and stop gambling when you live in Las Vegas. My gambling took place in England and most cities only have 2 or 3 casinos. Banning yourself is relatively straightforwards – but there you must have so many!
Keep posting – I know you said in your OP that the 3 month mark is most difficult for you – so I am guessing that will be in mid-February, so be good to see you still posting then. You can also chat to people in the support groups here. I expect to be there over Christmas and New Year.
All the best to you and keep strong!
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Nearly one month is such a great achievement. ESP living where you do. Vegas is and was my downfall for my major relapses. I love Vegas so much … yet the 3 times I’ve been ive relapsed worse than the previous time and I continue my binge when I get back to my city chasing my losses from Vegas.. each chase being worse than the previous. I love Vegas so much yet I know I can never return.. well.. never say never right. I’d love to be able to go to my fav pool parties one day and not gamble while I’m there, I pray one day I’m able to. I can tell in your words that you are determined to stop this time.. you sound like you are on the right path and I’m very proud of your near one month gamble free mark. 21 days to break a habit right ? You got this amber.. never look back.. remember all the pain gambling has caused and remember how amazing you feel without gambling.. and watch the financials grow and the mental health get better day by day, enjoying what’s important in life, family, friends, and memories! Gamble free memories! Wishing you and yours a very merry Christmas and a happy New Years. Take care my friend. Much love all the way from Canada.
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Yes – the time difference is difficult. There are facilitated groups in the early evening UK time on Mondays and Thursdays – but I guess that will be around noon in LA which is not easy if you are working. If you log onto one when it is 4am in the UK then you are really relying on people in your area to be there – none of those are facilitated.
It may be worth searching to see if there are chat forums on similar sites to this based in the US or Canada – or there maybe chat in some quit gambling facebook groups (if you do fb.) There is also Smart recovery – which is for all addictions – not just gambling but I know some on here have found that useful.
Good to hear that you are determined to beat this. I’m sure you can. Keep strong.
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Hello amber
I have read your journal and yes you will be a conquer over this you will be the standing strong over the will to go back into it. I believe in you and with the support from every individual here to encourage each other to uplift each other everyday every moment. I am going to stay committed to this today is my day one. And i will urge you to continue staying positive. -
I actually posted my first post here 3 days ago. Im GF for 3 days, and these forums help for sure. I have been single and lonely for 2 years, and while Im in good shape, my last relationship messed up me a bit that I dont trust women any more as she took $250K of mine in LAW SETTLEMENT, just cuz last few years I made a shit ton money. In retrospect, I think it was gambling that reduced my sex drive as the dopamine rush from the wins (not discounting the eventual loss) was enough for me to run to casinos and not spend time with my wife (now ex). Though i just kinda fell out of love as well. But I think it was gambling that spiraled my senses and value of money in an abyss of absolute shit, fecal mater, and an amalgamation of the nasties crap you can think of. My trigger had been very crazy. Im a film maker and most do commercial photography and films. Everytime, Id finish an edit, to reward myself, Id go autopilot to a casino, and on my way back Id somehow talk and reason to my sane self with an alter-ego of a total con artist, scammer, and low life piece of shit, that what else could I do. I dont enjoy anything in this city as most of my friends work during the days, and I have so much free time. After losing a shit ton to casinos, and in a divorce, I yet hadnt hit rock bottom, and my sane self took over and I came to these forums. I had to start being honest with myself, and get back to valuing money again. Somehow, we all gamblers think going out to clubs/bars/movies isnt as worth it as a casino, cuz on a good night of fun you blow $100-200 anyways, but in Casino you do have some odds of making some money back, have a few loud bursts of glory, fist pumps, and false sense of security that this is what rich kids do. In a few years, I have come to realize how much of the world I have missed out travelling to as I have not only been a gambling addict, but an addict of showing negative balances in all my accounts until the next big pay day comes and I feel secure, that Im still alive. ”im still alive”, a phrase many of us live by in the casinos on that one win on our last chip that we might have yet another lifeline to win it all back. And then boom, that is gone. I just hated the feeling of walking out, like a junkie, smoking my lungs away, judging down on all the low life degenerates around me, not realizing, I was the biggest one there. Its been 3 days, and I just got a big pay day today (by big I mean over 10K), and today I didnt go. I wont go tomoro either, because, I literally wrote down all the places I wanted to travel to and didnt with my ex wife. Im a good golfer, and summers I rarely gamble cuz Im golfing with my buddies and my league on sunday. But today I calculated that in last one month alone I had blown over $4400 of which $1800 were on one single night of just 2.5 hrs. Today, I just booked a flight to the island of Kauai, hawaii for January 15-23 ($550), booked a car ($325), a hotel ($1100), and a golf pass for $600 at Princeville Makai Golf Club, and googled if there was a Taco Bell on the island. Luckily, there are two… I will be ordering 3 books which I plan to binge read on this trip with my car parked near the pretty mountains or some beach… Even with $800 of spending money while there and back, I would not be spending more than $3300. I will go alone! A lot of us fear doing things alone, and we run to casinos to fight our boredom and loneliness to take refuge amongst other degenerates for a few ours before we start feeling miserable again. There is no glory in chasing the one win that would make it all go away. That only happens in movies or one in a million of us (even they end up back). Some of us may not afford to do what I will be doing, and Im not bragging, but Im truly putting a value to the money in creating a positive memory that I can revisit later when im down, and plan on saving more and more, to do just that. Id rather die one day not remembering the days and times I felt shit walking out of a casino, but the beautiful sunsets, the gushing sounds and crisp mist of waterfalls, while enjoying a couple of cheesy chilli burritos with hot sauce from Taco Friggin Bell!
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Repeat this mantra ”Why Do Something Over & Over Expecting Different Results” Positive mindset brings positive growth. Keep on keeping on Amber you got this. The temptations will grow stronger in your mind only if you let it redirect your focus on your self worth and goals you gonna achieve. I applaud you. Stay strong my fren you got this. I am thankful to read that you are doing it i am gonna as well I am on Day 5 keeping strong. Have a great day. And keep posting.
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