Thanks 3raser and Jonny for your helpful posts. I did the 2am group last night and then slept through to 1pm. Woke up,feeling tired and coughing a lot stain, which is down to the cheese I stuffed yesterday. Dairy always makes these things worse. I get the take baby steps,Jonnny because yesterday was good. Today is one,of those days where you think, I am not going to get much done today. I simply finished my step work and then went to GA. when walking through the park to the station, I got a sharp pain in my knee. I thought hello, haven’t injured it, what’s going on here. It lasted for a minute or two and then believe it or not, I spoke very nicely to my knee about how great it was to have legs and dont even think about packing up as I need my legs to get to GA. I then did a long stretch. There was a loud click and the pain went. All back to normal, I am pleased to report. Experience strength and hope meeting this evening. I shared about my financial situation, the unopened letters etc. It happens that finances is the next bit in step one. A member says he is going to think about what the best thing is for me to do. I still cannot face it. Although I did open a letter from the ****** court where I had requested a Ccj to be put aside, my first one of what will be quite a few. I have a form to fill in which costs 220 quid for the privilege. It seems if on benefits you can get help with that. After the meeting I had time with my sponsor about impact on my physical and mental Health which is the longest price of writing I have done thus far. We had a debate about responsibility for gambling. He said it wasn’t my fault, I said it was we have free choice and I chose to stick the knife into myself over and over again. I accept that I am powerless over gambling. I think the view was that as you are powerless, then it isn’t your fault. I don’t know what to think about this. When he said it, I felt myself well up, a little bit like in good will hunting where he says, it’s not your fault over and over agai . over and over again? anyone have a view? That was the only time in the meeting I felt myself well up. The emotional s of the past few days have not been so overwhelming as they have been to date. Anyway, home now and first food of the day, chicken stew. My sponsor, ”go to a food bank”’ me ”no”. And that went back and forth for a while. Bottom line is I don’t like cheap crap food, have never ever shopped in Lidl or the other one, Aldi. Never will. I said I would sooner not eat than eat crap. The funny thing is I can go without foodfor over 24 hours and I dont even feel hungry any more. I would have expected to have lost a lot of weight, but I haven’t. I have lost a bit but In all the wrong places. Something somewhere is looking after me and I thank my higher power for that.
