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I’ve have had a gambling problem since i can remember. Before i could go to the casino, i would gamble with friends and family at home. Im just real tired now. I would go for months without gambling then all the sudden think i got it under control then go and blow all my savings at the casino. Cycle after cycle, years after years. Sometime i don’t know what it means to live anymore. What is the meaning of it all. When i go to the casino, i would not think about anything, when being dealt a hand a blackjack i would feel alive. If i win wow what a high, but no matter how much i win, at the end i would loose control and lose eveything i have. Why do i have this problem, why can’t i just have a normal life, when did this all start and why. Please someone give me the power to stop now when im 36, i can’t imagine going thru this for any more years. I am so glad to have found this place because i have no one to talk to about this, everything thinks im ok but i am not. I keep going thru my casino trip, what i did wrong, why i didnt stop when iwas ahead, why i went crazy and bet so much when i was losing. I even have nightmares about it. But the sad thing is in a couple of months, i will forget about this and will make more trips to the casino and the cycle will start all over again. Please god help me………..
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Hi Phillip, welcome to GT. I banned myself from several casinos near me. It does help as I have been GF for over 6 months. I went to a security guard and said I wanted to bann myself. I was taken into a office and filled out the form. I am only banned for 1 year and have to re-bann myself. You will be ******** for trespassing if you enter the casino while banned. (the time periods vary from state to state) Consider GA Meetings, having someone you trust handle your finances and live on a allowance. I recently started handling my finances again. Keep posting and reading others threads. You will find alot of support here. Stay strong. One day at a time. Seize all the good things in life
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How do you feel today Philip?
The beginning of recovery brings mixed emotions and some confusion.
Try to make SIMPLE plans and stick to them, one at a time, one day at a time.
CGs thrive on CHAOS! -
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Well phillip here you are again, you just have to get through today its as simple as that. I’m sure you’re convinced its so very difficult even impossible, its not. Your addiction will distort your thinking in so many avenues. When you go gambling it will have you believe you are going to win and walk away with it all. But how often has that happened? It will also have you convinced that you just cant live without gambling, thats what you do, Phillip the crazy gambler. Well let me tell you; you are not crazy you can live without gambling, and you will never walk away from the casino a winner until the day you walk away with an exemption in place. You dont need to gamble, just for today. Think about tomorrow, next week, next month and next year when they arrive.
Good to see you back it would be great to read tomorrow that you have gotten through a gambling free day today. If that turns out not to be the case you’re still always welcome to come back. A daily post or two can and will help you if you want it to.
See you soon, Geordie.I dont gamble. -
Just hang in there, phillip. All of your posts remind me of myself. Whatever you do, don’t continue beating yourself up! That’s what I do, and it is definitely not productive. I just relapsed, and blew money that I should not have spent. When I signed on this morning, there was an article on the front page about how gambling is a learned behavior that can be unlearned. Just reading that gave me hope. We can do this, phillip! We don’t have to allow this to control our lives. Our higher powers can get us through these urges; we just have to trust them. Not always easy, but we can do it.I’m the best me there ever was.
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Great advice Reeny, and so true it can be unlearned. Sorry to hear of your relapse maybe you could start your own thread then any support offered will be there as a permanant reminder to you. The advice and support in the chat rooms here is great but after the session you can’t refer back to it. The good thing here is that both you and Phillip can help get each other through the first few days, in my opinion those are the most difficult *****. Hope you do start a thread.
Geordie. I dont gamble. -
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Great phillip, and look on the bright side; you’ve only wasted half your life to date gambling. You can salvage your life and achieve a lot. Great news about banning I am really pleased fot you that you have, but that wont cure you. Nothing will, but it certainley helps, have you ever tried GA?I dont gamble.
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Not quite as long as that phillip, this is my fourth month. Its not wierd what you say infact a lot of us become very withdrawn and private, we like to live with our dirty little secret. However a succesful recovery requires a lot of changes, changes in our personality and behaviour. Yes the important thing has to be to stop gambling, but if that is going to leave us miserable and depressed why bother. You can live gamble free and be happy, a change that maybe required for you achieve this, is learning to talk to people again. It is a very hard thing to do. The good thing with GA is you dont have to say anything, you can just listen. It takes a great amount of courage to go to your first meeting, but it can help you so much its worth the effort just to see. If you want a new life phillip please give it a go. It might not be your thing at all, but it is surprising how many of us were reclusive and didnt want to go that first time, but are so pleased we did go. You owe it yourself to try it,it cant be more embarrasing than spending 13K on a night out can it?I dont gamble.
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I do understand phillip I really do, and you must do what your comfortable with. GA is no good to anyone if they go under duress or just to please others. This site is also a great place to be, I hope that you do go there one day soon though, because I cant emphasise enough how much it can help. When and if you’re ready for it.
What your doing now is great and writing does help. Keep on trucking!I dont gamble. -
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Good for you mate, one day at a time, its not as hard as you thought, is it? Just keep your wits about you and try to only take minimal cash with you when you’re out and about. Good start phillip, well doneI dont gamble.
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Hi Phillip,
I read your posts and can relate very much to how you are feeling. I live in Wisconsin and had no trouble self-banning from the 2 I am banned from. The one, I had to go to and follow the procedure explained in an earlier post…meeting the security person and filling out a form. The second one, I e-mailed. They sent me the form and I had to fill it out and send a copy of my drivers license. If you go after you self-banned, they will arrest you for trespassing. If you are a quiet person, as am I, that would be devastating!! I have had enough trouble with gambling, no need to bring the law into it. Self-banning is the best deterent I have found to stop gambling and obsessing about going to the casino.
Mind you, this has been a work in progress for me. I have been self banning and building more and more barriers over the last 2 years. Change hurts and sometimes does not stick the first time. If you are determined, you will keep plugging away and will find what works for you. My first barrier was not carrying any checks with me. That was the way I could get the most cash at the casino. I then graduated to no debit card, having my cash availability removed from my credit card and so on. I also have a friend hold about half of my money each month so I am not tempted to gamble with it.
Your comment about everything else being boring really struck a chord with me. I just said that to a friend about a month ago. I read a post or an article about how our brains get addicted to excitement or the thrill we get from gambling. It is true, for me, that those feelings fade with time away from it. You are the only one that can control what you do. It is a huge freedom we have until we abuse it. Stop letting gambling control you. You can do it, I know you can!
Take care of yourself first. LisaNot Gambling…one day at a time -
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Hi Phillip, well done on your gamble free time. How about GOING to that casino? Go with no money in your pocket and ask them to ban you, take a passport photo with you and ask for a self exclusion form. It’ll take a lot of pressure off Fridays, they can be just another day in recovery. 🙂
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How is friday going mate?I dont gamble.
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Nice one mate, I really got to try and get some sleep tonight, its nearly midnight here, that chatroom is open all weekend, you will find some great support in there if you need it mate, maybe in there myself later if i cant sleep. Well done mate, there is absoloutly nothing you can gain by going tonight or anytime philip, be strong and fight it it will gradually get easier to deal with. I hope you make it mate day 6 is only hours away.
Take care my friend.I dont gamble. -
***** Phillip! I just logged on and read the posts for the past week. How is your weekend going so far? Good job this week! Interesting idea about self-banning from the casinos. Wonder if they do that in Washington state? So far, I feel the same way that you do about GA. I also work with a lot of people in this area and really do not wish to run into any of them. That may change, though, who knows? Great job on not giving in this week! One day at a time. "The future’s a mystery, the past is history. Today is a gift; that’s why it’s called the ‘present’." Your higher power will help you through this weekend. You can make it.I’m the best me there ever was.
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hi phillip its saturday now, how was your friday?I dont gamble.
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Yes mate I did thanks. I am ever so pleased for you phillip, well done. No big deal just another gamble free day I’m made up for you my friend. Now youve dealt with a Friday, you should have had a whole week off tomorrow, God willing. Un imaginable to you last week I reckon, good on you.I dont gamble.
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Good on you Phillip
You are right it will never be enough for a CG, so good you are getting out now and giving yourself the chance to recover.. fantastic, see you round
P – Living and Learning -
Hi Phillip,
Just on the GA matter , its good to go to a GA meeting theres nothing to fear , you dont have to go back , you dont have to speak , , nobody will ask you who what or where you are , you can share or you can choose not share , its good to listen and take advise , you will be suprised how talking about your gambling problem will make you want to share more , talking about it gets it out of the system makes you open up to stuff you cant admit to , GA meetings are meetings , be yourself and be open minded and try and return gambling free to your next one. I havent been to a meeting in months …They know I know wheres it at , they also know I know where to go IF i want it !!!!Theres no search parties or people calling ….. Things are better without a bet on today. -
HI Phillip, you can do it!!! Put every barrier in place that you can. Try GA meetings. Use every resource you can to help in your recovery. You are worth it!!!!Seize all the good things in life
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Phillip, I’ve heard some Horror stories today on this site. I wish I could help those folks. I can’t, only give words of encouragement. I’m 6 days gamble-free. That’s a GOOD THING.
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Phillip,
Thank you for your post today. Good for you that you made it through Friday. I wish I could say the same…next Friday I will. Stay strong and I will too.
LisaNot Gambling…one day at a time -
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Brilliant phillip, WTG, well done. Are you missing gambling at all?I dont gamble. Because recovery is priceless.
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Hi Phillip — Just read your thread and you are doing great! I know your struggle and am right there with you. I just self banned yesterday. I have fought doing this for so long but once I did it has come as a huge relief! I have even noticed I’ve been thinking today about saving for this or for that and I haven’t done that for a long time because all I did was try not to spend any money so I would have "enough" to gamble with. I have had a long hard road to get to here — so many failures but it will only take suceeding once to be on the right road to life again. Stay strong Phillip you’re doing great! Pumkin113b
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HI Phillip, good for your gambling free time!! Find other things to do when the urges hit. Take up a new hobby!!! I have found that keeping busy has really helped in my recovery. Stay strong!!! One day at a time!! You can do it.Seize all the good things in life
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We can’t always control thge urges Philip, but we can control our reaction to them.
Keep saying "not now" or" maybe later".
I find walking helps. As far away as possible from a casino. Listen to music with earplugs. It blocks your gambling thoughts! -
Phillip you’re mind is used to just one kind of stimulation — its confused. Someone here used an analogy of a glass of water — your brain has been filled with only gambling for a long time and then you start trying to put other things in your brain so you have to dump out some in order to fill it with other activities — you keep doing this until the glass is filled with your new life. It is not a fast process — its gradual change as you start to be able to enjoy doing something other than the one and only activity that has consumed so much of your life for so long. I can tell you that if you don’t give up you WILL begin to feel enjoyment from other things and it will be an eye opener. At first it will be just a little and not for long and then you just keep trying to grow it until you find you’re waking up one day and sitting outside enjoying a cup a coffee or just watching the grass grow in the first time in years. There is really nothing like it. Pumkin
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Phillip — I thought a lot about those same things — how at one time I looked forward to and was happy going shopping or out to eat or just visiting friends. Keep thinking about that Phillip because you CAN get it back. Yes we have to grow up but that doesn’t mean we still can’t enjoy really ****** food at the state fair or going to a rock concert. One day at a time Phillip — you’re doing great! Pumkin
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Just serves as a reminder of how gambling destroys our lives by taking our peace and innocence away!
Nothing good comes from gambling Philip!
We need to remember that.
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