[Cozzy123]

Hi, I’m new in here and need help to stop my gambling addiction. I have been addicted to online sports betting for he last year or so and can honestly say I don’t feel like I enjoy it. It’s a compulsion which I can’t shake and one that will tear me and my family apart of I don’t stop. I wonder if anyone can help with methods or something which will help me. I really don’t know where to start with this and I know that if I can’t control this, it will be the end of my family. Thanks

[monique]

Hi, I have read your post here. It is good to have started sharing your experiences and that you are recognizing that it is important to reach out for support to change things around in your life. In order to get your own ‘thread’ set up and to get replies from others here, you need to write on the section My Journal. Click on ‘New Topic’ at the bottom left of the page and then start writing your ‘journal’. You can give it a catchy title that maybe sums up what you are feeling or hoping or just expresses something of where you are at. You should then receive messages from others, too, and gradually a real conversation can take off.

Best wishes,

Monique

[Thomas1987]

Hi Cozzy,
I am very familiar with your situation, i am currently gamble free for over 7 weeks. In the past I have tried given up gambling but eventually i relapsed, i have researched what causes relapses and Secrecy about your problems from loved ones is a major factor…..secrets keep addiction alive.

So hearing this i made a decision to tell my girlfriend of 5 years( whom had no idea by the way) and my family and close friends, i now go to one GA meeting a week and a counselling session. You need to get to meetings as they will be your release to get everything off your chest.

Telling your family will be the toughest thing u will ever have to do but the support they will give u will be refreshing and give u a huge lift. I nearly lost my girlfriend because she didn’t understand how I could lie to her and keep this a secret, she felt that it showed I didn’t love her when in fact it was the complete opposite, i loved her so much i was afraid to tell her, she has done some research and believes what i said to be true.
Believe me when i say , one week of hell telling your family will be worth a lifetime of happiness.

Best of luck and any more advice let me know

[Cozzy123]

Thanks Thomas.

I am due to go to my 1st GA meeting this evening. I’m very nervous about it but I know I just need to take the step.

My wife found out about all this through me hiding a credit card statement. I’ve been kidding myself for a long time that I wasn’t an addict and I was in control but I clearly wasn’t. My family now know and there seems to be alot of anger around it all. I’m hoping that will change when they realise the steps I am taking to get a handle on all this but time will tell.

The knowledge of the heartache I’ve caused is crippling me at the moment and I am determined to change.

Thanks again for the kind words of support.

[Thomas1987]

Hi Cozzy,
Its no problem at all, im by no means an expert to pass on advice but the last 7 weeks have been a roller coaster, plenty of highs and lows.

The two things I struggled with whilst gambling was opening up to people in regards to my emotions and how im feeling. The second was the lies

I made a conscious decision that if I was going to do this i would need to be totally open and honest about everything. Tell my loved ones who support me, how I feel and not bottle it up. You don’t even need to tell them all the time, that why GA meetings are for and this website.
Maybe one thing that will help u see an improvement is totally strip down the way you live and change your habits and lifestyle.
7 weeks ago i done the followinh:
– Told all my family and friends
– Started with GA
– Started Counselling.
– Got rid of Sky Sports channels
– Watch/listen to less sports( Radio/TV/general chat with friends)
– Allow my G/F full access to my online bank accounts and statements.She is constantly looking which is good.
– I do more around the house, cleaning, cooking, light the fire, washing etc
– Look at keeping yourself busy, take up new hobbies, reignite old hobbies, I play Gaelic football, a bit of golf and soccer aswell.
-( Obvious one) Ban myself from every possible bookmakers online.

All these have worked for me so far, I have shown my girlfriend that Im willing to change.

Is life a bit more boring?? Yes
Do I feel like ive lifted a 100kg bag off my shoulders?? YES

you taken the first step and realized you are incapable of gambling and that will no longer be a part of your life….
KEep chatting on this and we can help each other

[Cozzy123]

Hi Thomas,

I thought I’d wait until I went to me 1st GA meeting before responding.

I was very nervous all day yesterday and built the meeting up I my head that id be judged for speaking about the things I have done etc. The complete opposite happened and I felt comfortable right from walking in. I shared my story which was a big deal for me as I have never spoken to anyone about this before.

I found it such a relief to know I am not alone in this. Throughout my time gambling I always thought I was weird and no one could feel or do the things I’ve done. The group seems a great place to continue my determined recovery and I will be going back next week.

Thank you for the advice above and I have now agreed with my wife that she will control my finances for the foreseeable future and, although this makes me uncomfortable, I know this is for my own and my family’s good.

I have also been open with my dad about what I have done and what I’m doing to try sort this mess out. Throughout this past week I can feel a massive relief it’s all out there and I can now focus on recovery with the support from my family and thus forum.

I really do appreciate your time on speaking with me here. I never expected anyone to care so I am very grateful.

[Thomas1987]

Good man Cozzy,

I’m delighted to hear that post, you have done really well. No need to thank me, Im just passing on the support and advice that got me up and running.
The GA meetings are excellent. For the first few I was unsure about them as I nearly felt more down coming out of them listening to other people stories. It took time for me to see what I was supposed to be gaining from it all.
As I said im 7 weeks off the gambling. Since then i have had no major urges but i can feel them ever so lightly coming back.
Just be prepared , the first few weeks are grand as you feel so relieved but be under no illusion that you will have hard days. I would recommend a couple of 1-1 counselling sessions and see how you find them, I’ve had 4 sessions in last 7 weeks and find them good and different to what i get out of the GA meetings.
Best motto iv found from the GA programme and think every gambler should live by it is “Just for today”….
Glad to hear things moving well, stay positive every day and keep posting 🙂

[vera]

Happy to see you are continuing your support here and in GA, Cozzy.
Yes, it is a hard blow to take when we are faced with the carnage we created. The good news is you are still young and have a life time ahead of you to make up a hundred fold for the pain you have caused. Maybe see you in a group later.
Great support coming in from Tommy. Well done Tommy.

[Thomas1987]

Thanks Vera for you kind comment.

Im at a very early stage myself but feel focus and great great satisfaction out of passing on advise that I received…nice to see lads like Cozzy making changes to his life and taking the 1st step to recovery.
How are you going these days if you don’t mind me asking?

[vera]

I’m a recycled , recovering CG Thomas.
Hanging in, one day at a time.
2016 has been G free so far, thank God!
Are you Irish?

[Thomas1987]

I am surely loud and proud 🙂

Likewise, had a bad period over the Xmas and on the last day on December I decided I had enough.

Thats it, u said it, just for today

[vera]

Sorry for highjacking your thread Cozzy.
I know GA is “anonymous” Thomas, but do you go to meetings in Dublin? If so, we will run into each other. I’m doing the rounds in a final effort to beat this madness!

[JessicaLP]

Hi Thomas and Cozzy

First off Cozzy, I am very proud of you for keeping with this and going to GA and coming back to the site. It has been a few days since I have logged on but I enjoyed reading this post bery much, It made me have hope for myself.

Thomas, I don;t think we have met but you seem to be doing pretty well yourself. I was inspired by your support you have given Cozzy after just 7 weeks of you not gambling. It has almost been the same for me… I haven’t been to the casino at least… which is good.

Keep up the good work you 2!

JessicaLP 🙂

[Thomas1987]

Apologies with the delay, I had a busy and gamble free weekend.

No Vera, I don’t live beside Dublin, I’m from the west 🙂 Fair play to you keep up the good work.

Hi Jessica, Thanks for your kind comments, yes i get great satisfaction helping others if I can. I’m under no illusion that I need to help myself first when it comes to this disease but its nice to speak with people like Cozzy….hope hes still doing OK.
For me, the next 3 weeks will be a massive test as the cheltenham festival will begin. Its the one week in the gambling calendar that loved so this will be a massive test but again , one day at a time. Ironically last year I gave up gambling for 8 months and I had the strength to get over this week so I know I can do it.

Hope everyone had a good and gamble free weekend

Frankie

[Cozzy123]

Apologises I haven’t done a post since last week, I’ve kept myself busy this weekend.

Saturday was the 1st time since my last bet on the 15th February that I struggled. I knew this would be hard as I always did my gambling when there always alot of sport on. I’m pleased to say I made it through though and feel great about it.

I went for a haircut on sat which is only 2 doors down from a bookies. I parked right outside the barbers, straight in and straight back into the car when done. It sound so sad to be proud I didn’t go in but I do. It would have been easy to go get a slip and put a football accumulator on without anyone knowing but I didn’t! Instead I came home and played with the kids. It was a great day I the end.

Sunday was spent much the same but my wife really seemed to have struggled and was very distant and drawn all day. I kept quiet and just went about cleaning the house and cooking for us all. She eventually began to talk and seemed a bit better. We’re taking this a day at a time and her support is getting me through (not that j deserve it!).

Sorry for rambling but I’m now gamble free for a week and I am looking forward to GA this week to continue my recovery.

Great to read all the posts here. It’s a great way to get everything out so thanks for reading and caring everyone!

[Cozzy123]

Apologises I haven’t done a post since last week, I’ve kept myself busy this weekend.

Saturday was the 1st time since my last bet on the 15th February that I struggled. I knew this would be hard as I always did my gambling when there always alot of sport on. I’m pleased to say I made it through though and feel great about it.

I went for a haircut on sat which is only 2 doors down from a bookies. I parked right outside the barbers, straight in and straight back into the car when done. It sound so sad to be proud I didn’t go in but I do. It would have been easy to go get a slip and put a football accumulator on without anyone knowing but I didn’t! Instead I came home and played with the kids. It was a great day I the end.

Sunday was spent much the same but my wife really seemed to have struggled and was very distant and drawn all day. I kept quiet and just went about cleaning the house and cooking for us all. She eventually began to talk and seemed a bit better. We’re taking this a day at a time and her support is getting me through (not that j deserve it!).

Sorry for rambling but I’m now gamble free for a week and I am looking forward to GA this week to continue my recovery.

Great to read all the posts here. It’s a great way to get everything out so thanks for reading and caring everyone!

[Thomas1987]

well done mate, ur doing very well.

Im sure its difficult for your wife to understand all this so make sure u talk to her .I don’t know if I mentioned this already, but i was a person who never opened up about my feelings and bottled it all up, that was not good for me despite at the time i thought it was better for everyone if i kept these things to myself.
I changed and im very open about my feelings, i dont tell lies anymore( not even white lies), honesty really is the best policy.
My girlfriend was struggling and i gave her the red handbook from GA. She gained a great understanding from reading this booklet and i would advise u to do the same.
Ur doing very well, at the minute my urges are slowly beginning to crawl back but i am stronger than previous times and I wont give in.
Cheltenham is starting in a few weeks and that will be my toughest test to date but my mentality is ” Just for today” 🙂

Take care
Thomas

[charles]

Hi Cozzy,

Well done on your gamble free time.

Do you normally get your hair cut there? if so then that would be a good bookies to get yourself banned from.

Cheltenham can be a tempting time for many, it was one of my favourite race meetigns as well.

Plan that week. Fill your time, have your barriers particularly high. Don’t watch the races on the TV. Avoid newspapers. Minimize the risk and it can just become another week in recovery.

I think we all know some of our vulnerable times. maybe favourite race meetings, sports events, gambling venues etc We can use that knowledge and keep ourselves safe.

Keep posting

[Author]

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