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    • #33031
      Yankees4life83
      Participant

      Hi all,

      I was browsing the forums and finally decided to register and post. I apologize in advance for the novel but feel like I need to type his out before I give myself a nervous breakdown.

      I have been gambling for 5-6 years (I’m in my early 30’s) and have gotten myself into a lot of debt due to this problem. Probably to the tune of 30k.

      I’ve used credit cards, loans both in my name and my spouse, and have taken loans out from an employer plan at work.. I can’t do this anymore, but really disappointed in myself that it took this long to reach my breaking point. I was (am until the end of this weekend) using a bookie which extends credit to use to place bets so will be telling him to shut the account down tomorrow.

      The good news is that we (my spouse and I) make a decent living and can allocate a certain amount each month to pay these debts off. She does not know the full extent of the losses, however we just found out that we are expecting a child (fingers crossed) in the beginning of 2017, so I need to get my stuff together ASAP.

      I think I can quit for good, but can’t wrap my head around the enormous losses that I’ve brought on. Feels like my chest will cave in at any moment, and have been prescribed certain medication (although I did not reveal the exact reasoning to the doctor as to why it was happening)

      I guess I am curious as to know if anyone has been able to climb out of a big hole, while also potentially taking on another huge responsibility (in more ways than one, including financially).

      Sorry for the rant.

    • #33032
      monique
      Participant

      Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

      Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

      Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

      And on that note….

      I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

      Take care

      The Gambling Therapy Team


      PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our
      privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

    • #33033
      monique
      Participant

      Just a personal welcome as well.

      I note that you are feeling rather unwell both on a mental/emotional level as well as physically. The consequences of gambling are making themselves known to you in quite a dramatic way. This could mean you are more likely to be ready to take action to change things. When a gambler is in denial, he can keep on getting deeper into trouble, continuing to chase losses and block out the voice of reason. Your mind and body are telling you things are not right and you have started to recognize the need to change. So take hold of this sense of need to motivate yourself to make the turn around you need in your life – for yourself and your partner.
      Yes, people can get out of the ‘big hole’. As you can imagine from that metaphor, help and support are needed! If you are deep in a hole, it is very hard clambering up by yourself.! So make sure you continue to reach out as you have started by writing here. What about telling your doctor more about why you are experiencing problems? Help will be more relevant if you can be more open about what your needs are. Read the stories here, attend the Support Groups here (live time support), maybe see if there are local GA groups to attend etc.
      Also, I wonder what your partner knows – you say she doesn’t know the full extent of the losses, but does she know how they came about? It is often helpful if a partner can take over the finances at least for a time, while the problem gambler gets established in recovery – the access to money makes relapse so much easier, the absence of money can help protect you from relapse. Everything you can put in place to protect yourself from opportunity to continue gambling will help you maintain your decision to stay free and build your new life for you and your family.

      Keep posting and all good wishes.

      Monique

      Best wishes,

    • #33034
      Yankees4life83
      Participant

      Wanted to bump this up. Hope everyone had a great three day weekend! I have stayed away from gambling altogether which I knew I could, but still having issues with thinking about the debt that needs to be paid. Anyone have a recommendation on consolidating debt without credit ruin (even temporary ruin)? I’ve looked at peer to peer lending platforms (seems interesting) and may go for it, but my DTI is high at this point, and I worry if I can’t consolidate to one payment (even some of the debt), then I may turn to gambling again to pay this off (even though I keep telling myself I won’t win). Any suggestions from someone that has been or is in the same situation?

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