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#21231
paul315
Participant

Originally posted by bettie

I feel you are fighting demons,
 

Betty, thanks for your post and your concern and we are all fighting demons everyday; some days, thankfully most days, I find that the demons are not so prevalent but as you know, they still exist and must be dealt with. I have dealt with the recent upsurge of attacks, thanks to my friends at GA and here, and especially your presence the other night, and I am back at working on my recovery instead of battling the demons. I do find this to be a mental process and that an attitude of heading toward a better life (working recovery) is better than one of running away from the past one (surviving by only fighting the demons).
I have found a lot of advice on how to handle the situation I was in, from should-not-have-gone, to the sharing of other’s fears of not being able to survive the circumstances. Although we are all critics in a way, I do not consider any of the input to be criticism or fault findings; it is a showing of care and concern. I accept that my thoughts on how I go about living a better life may differ from others, but the differences end there. We are all in this journey together and all share the same goal – to be free of gambling and live a better life; or as Kathryn reminds us in her closings with Peter Pan’s thoughts, "To live, that would be a great adventure". I find the the adventures of life, both the good and the challenging, to be far better than the mere existing in the gambler’s world; but to enjoy these wonders, I have to step out and experience life. In doing so I cannot live in fear, I can only rely on faith in myself and my Higher Power, I cannot let recovery control by life like gambling did, I can only let it guide me.
There my be a few somewhat academic differences in my views and those of GA, however, I find that the qualifying phrases, "of my own understanding" and "To the best of my ability" found in the GA principles, keep me in line with the intent of the program, and on tract with it’s goal – "a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from a gambling problem".
 
A reply to other portions of your post here can be found in your topic. 
LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.