[swato]

Good evening,

Tomorrow will be day 1 again.
I wouldn’t know how many day ones I have had in the last 20 years.
I am powerless over Gambling, but want to stop.
I am mostly addicted to pokies, but have gambled by most other means over the years. I have lost hundreds of thousands of dollars, lost hours , felt guilty, shamed, anger, lost. I’ve lied to family, friends.

Married for just under one year. I have never told my partner that I have a gambling addiction. But tonight I gambled our joint savings, not all of it but a large amount.
So, the truth will have to come out soon. It’s her 40th Birthday in a couple of weeks , i dont want her to have to deal with finding out I have an addiction to gambling, to know that I’ve been lying to her about staying back at work when I have actually been blowing thousands of dollars.

Day 1 tomorrow.

[swato]

Day 1 done.

The gambling hangover part of the cycle.
Constant thoughts of how much I have ruined. There is no desire to gamble at this part of the cycle.
The desire or urges will come back.
Payday tomorrow, so they will probably appear then.
More than likely have thoughts about needing more money, needing to win back my last losses and repaying the money I took from a joint savings account.

The definition of craziness, doing thr sams thing over and over and expecting a different result.

It doesn’t matter how much I win, It will all go back in. Plus more and make things worse than thed are.

I’m worked today, but my mindx wasn’t there, It was distracted by gambling related thoughts. Not the desire as I said before, but the consequences.

I need to break this cycle

[G Rec]

Hi swato,

Welcome to the forum and well done on taking a positive step and making it through Day 1. I would strongly recommend attending a new members group held on Mondays and Thursday if you have not previously done so, there you can get some great advice and tips including blockers you can put in place going forward.

You mentioned that your partner does not know you have a gambling addiction but the truth will have to come out soon.

While your partner finding out about your previous gambling is never going to be easy, from my experience, telling them yourself compared to them finding out on their own (which it sounds like is inevitable if you don’t tell them) will lead to a much better outcome for both you and her.

If you tell her first, that will allow you to be in control of being fully transparent, and honest, while also presenting the work that you are doing/have done to try and quit gambling such as 1)joining this forum, 2) Putting blockers in place such as closing existing accounts, software blockers etc, and ideas you have for how they can help if they want to continue on this journey with you such as taking sole control of the savings account at least in the short term.

[swato]

Thank you for that. And yes definetely telling my wife is what I need to do. Bloody hard though!!!

I will definetely try to attend the meetings as well, they are the online ones?

[Autor]

Entradas