[Kgg1587]

Hi everyone. I am new to this but I am hoping sharing my story with others that are going through the same thing will help me understand my actions and hopefully prevent me in making further and future mistakes. I’ll try to keep it short.

It all started 15 yrs ago when I was 18. Ex BF took me to a casino and introduced me to table games. At 19 I went by myself and made a $40 bet into $7200 and like everyone else this is where it all began. I didn’t really start binge gambling until my early 20’s after dealing with some domestic violence at home. It was my escape route to sit at a table at a casino. We had a daughter and it was hard to separate but we did and guess what I was gambling free for 5 years or so.

I got bored one day and once again found myself at a casino. For a few years it was off and on but it got bad. I thought my rock bottom was getting admitted to 51/50 after trying to commit suicide. But I was wrong. I was free of it for about a year and had my son.

Recently, I had done the worst I could ever do to my friends, family, kids, and most of all myself. Last week I went missing for 5 days with no contact to the outside world. I didn’t eat or sleep at all for 5 days. How? I don’t know. I was determined to win money back that I lost. Ironically I was winning $8500 yet I didn’t leave. What’s new we have all done that. What was worst was that I left my kids with no mother for 5 long days. I came home with the worst expectations but I am truly blessed to have a family and boyfriend that cares more about my well being. I gave up access to my accounts, paychecks and I even allowed them to put a tracker on my phone. I feel so selfish for my actions and hope I can stop this roller coaster I am constantly on. It’s sad that they were all so worried about me but at the same time it is almost a norm for them. I’m here looking for support and encouragement that this all gets better. Not worst. Thanks for listening. Sorry so long. -kgg1587

[Kgg1587]

In case anyone was going to ask. Yes I have been to GA meetings and have had therapy sessions. Both group and one on one… however, as odd as it sounds I found myself at the casino still. I had one great therapist that help me be free of it for 1.5 years, however, he retired and I couldn’t find a replacement yet. I just want to get better just like everyone else on this website

[charles]

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Hello Kgg and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our
privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[charles]

Hi kgg and welcome. it was good talking to you earlier, well done on looking for help. Well done on putting those barriers in place. keep reading the other stories here, see the sort of thing that you can apply to your own situation. Keep posting and hopefully I will see you in a group again soon.

[p]

Well done on telling us your story and seeking help. It’s great to take that step. I know you say you’ve tried GA etc but it can still be support, I still gambled while attending and relapsed but the support along the way was invaluable. I know it’s different for all and you may not like it just sometimes I find trying things and giving them a go for a longer time helps. Sometimes it takes a few goes to get recovery whatever method we use in getting there. Just keep trying, keep using whatever support helps you, just don’t give up on giving up. Ban from casinos and online if that’s available to you, make money less available, don’t carry it with you, just what you need for the day,same with cards. Hope you continue to post and let’s know how you are.

P

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