[Jackdandy]

Didn’t play the pokies today 

Been 5 days and was starting to feel good

Thought I would have a go at keno 

Maybe I could control myself 

Well I certainly couldn’t 

I never used to drink and gamble 

Now I do 

Really am self destructing over and over

Tried exclusion counseling and ga 

This site got me through 5 days 

Im 50 and have wasted the last 10years of my life doing this shit 

Single and feel I have nothing to offer a partner

Need my brain to stop thinking about shit and be focused and positive 

Broke again but at least I paid the rent wtf

[velvet]

Hello Jackdandy and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[Jackdandy]

Managed to get my head in a good place today
I deserve better than I have been doing was my motto
Felt positive after resding some of the stories and the poems on here this morning
Its been dry for a ages and got a good bit of rain here in sunny Queensland
Have been working on fixing up the garden where I live trying to get some old hobbies back in my life
Today Im broke
But I am not looking for a loan or something to sell so I can go and gamble
So life is good today

[Jackdandy]

Ive blamed shit happens for a long time now
Really need to take some responsibility
I lost the plot in 2011 when lost my sister
8000 in 4 days
Why blame money
My best friend got cancer in 2016
Not moneys fault
Time to be grateful
For wbat I do have
Father of 4 happy healthy young adults
Will it help writing it down
I have hope just need the will

[kathryn]

Happy to see you started a thread!
I’m down in ‘sunny’ Victoria……NOT!!!!!!
Sounds like we sent our rain up your way….you can have it!!!!
Seriously though, I’m glad you have found this site, it really did change my life. I joined here 9 years ago after a 15 year gambling nightmare.
This addiction just loves drama, trauma, sadness and anything that will trigger an urge.
It feeds on our troubles and woes.
I understand you have tried a few things to stop.
Have you tried them all at once?
Barriers, I believe are a godsend.
We could always find a way to gamble if we REALLY wanted to. The more barriers you have up, the more chance that you wont gamble because it will be simply to hard.
I did all I could. I took every single bit of advice I received here and went with it, did it, tried it, you name it.
That was 9 years ago. Ive slipped up a handful of times in those 9 years.
Not bad for someone who lost just about everything.
It can be done. Believe it.
Get someone to help you with your finances.
Go to a GA meeting and see how that feels.
Join groups here, the helpline is also wonderful.
Self exclude if you can.
Keep yourself busy. Give yourself a breather. Some space to think about things other than gambling. (it will happen)
I can see the determination in your posting.
You aren’t responsible for your addiction Jack, but you are responsible for your recovery. At the end of the day, it has to be you. And you CAN do this!!!!
Time to start living!
Love K xxx

[Jackdandy]

Hi K
Good to here from you
The sun is shining and I am smiling
Thanks for the rain though
Have a super day xx

[i-did-it]

Hi Jackdandy
Well done on your gamble free days

I really like your thread and how you present your story – it is not wordy but yet you convey so much.

You are right though- you deserve so much more than the horrible life gambling gives us .

Keep strong

[Jackdandy]

Hi I did it

Thank you for your message 

There is so much more to life than gambling 

Lots of things have made me want to gamble 

Sometimes in my past  its been a lot of fun 

Its time to focus on how its made me feel afterwards and some of the desperate things I have done

And some of the desperate things I have thought about doing but thankfully didn’t 

Hope your going well today 

[lizbeth4]

Well done on your gambling free days. Have you put barriers in place and banned? Just a few things to help in your recovery. Oh, the desperate feeling and ideas. Been there! Urges-you can find way to get through them. Stay strong.

[finding_laura]

Hey Jack,
welcome to the forum! Good to read you haven’t sold anything or borrowed anything looking for your next fix. I too blame stuff in my life. But truth is I know where gambling takes me and it’s up to me to put things in place to stop. The aftermath is never fun! take care,
Laura

[Jackdandy]

Hi everyone and thanks for your messages
Every little thing helps
Im going well
Actually had my first good sleep last night and didn’t wake up consumed by thoughts of gambling
Still focusing on my last loss and where this journey of gambling addiction has led me
I hear you all about the barriers
I once excluded myself from 6 pubs and clubs in the area
The trouble is that I just drove further
Its a shame that we cant get a country wide ban
Feeling free and hopeful today
Hope you all are too

[finding_laura]

Hey Jack,

good to hear you slept well last night. This gambling business sure can haunt our dreams. I am in the same position as you in that I can’t ban from all the establishments. Here we can’t even ban from individual establishments! So I had to have help with my finances. Otherwise I would just get to that point where I would chuck it all. I deserved some fun after all. If you can call what we do fun. Try and tie things up as much as possible so you don’t have free and easy access to your funds. Pay bills as soon as your pay is received so you have nothing left to gamble. That auto pilot tries to take back over and the next thing your walking into an establishment. But not if you have no money. No money = no gamble. Hope you had a good day.
Laura

[Jackdandy]

Hi Laura 

Great advice thank you 

Haven’t been going to bad since I have been on this site

Its helping me a lot

My biggest problem is that I had someone helping with my finances for a long time and I ended up hurting them all the time and it didn’t make me want to stop

Have to get control over my life again

Hope your going well

[finding_laura]

Things are going good thanks for asking! No gambling for over a year now but I do think about it now and again. I change the channel and think about something else.

I guess the most important ban is the mental ban we place on ourselves. If you can’t find someone whom you won’t take advantage of then you just have to handle finances in ways that don’t leave you with a lot of gambling money sitting around. And for years that is what our money was. Gambling money not to be wasted on bills or food. Pay important bills right away. Set up a savings account that you can’t access easily and transfer and extra money you don’t need right away there. Keep at it. A gamble free life is so much better and worth the effort.

I always tell people, if we put as much effort into stopping as we do into gambling we can beat this.

take care,
Laura

[kathryn]

Just wanted to drop by and see how you were going.
Hopefully you are getting through your days with some normality and feeling a bit more in control of your life.
This addiction is horrific.
Others cant see it, its not like drugs or alcohol where there is a physical change in our person.
Although, thinking back, my bad moodiness was horrendous. Im sure my husband put it down to hormones at the time, if only he had known!
Anyways, take care, the sun is trying to visit us in Victoria….
trying being the operative word!!!
Love K xxx

[Jackdandy]

Thank you everyone for your kind words 

Read Charles poem yesterday its called its not my fault

Geez been telling myself that for years 

Went out with a nice lady last week and basically I think I stuffed it 

See I have to be honest and upfront about my problem but I am guilty of blaming my circumstances, When I only have myself to blame

Been telling myself for years that if I found a nice partner I could change my life and stop gambling 

The fact is that I am at a point where I dont feel I have anything to offer

So Friday night I had a date Saturday Sunday Monday to the pub and drank and gambled 3 nights straight because I was feeling sorry for myself and a little angry 

Not to smart so today I will start again and try and think of all the things that I am grateful for 

[vera]

I hear you , Jack. I thought for years, that my happiness lay in other people. That’s false! People let us down.Then I tried gambled . It became my “One and Only”! Another illusion! We need to develop our own inner resources. Of course the Human Condition always tells us we need others. We need people, money, company, love, approval…. But do we ? Really? Maybe we want them more than need them? Food for thought , eh? I thought I would DIE if some one went away… thought I couldn’t survive.. ‘Thought my life without gambling would be empty…Is it? Sometimes it feels like take but guess what? These are illusions. “When you enjoy the scent of a thousand flowers, you won’t miss the fragrance of one”! Back to the Drawing Board Jack. KEEP IT SIMPLE!

[vera]

I hear you , Jack.
I thought for years, that my happiness lay in other people.
That’s false!
Then I tried gambled .
It became my “One and Only”!
Another illusion!
We need to develop our own inner resources.
Of course the Human Condition always tells us we need others. We need people, money, company, love, approval….
But do we ?
Really?
Maybe we want them more than need them?
Food for thought , eh?
I thought I would DIE if some one went away…
thought I couldn’t survive..
‘Thought my life without gambling would be empty…Is it?
Sometimes it feels like take but guess what?
These are illusions.
“When you enjoy the scent of a thousand flowers, you won’t miss the fragrance of one”!
Back to the Drawing Board Jack.
KEEP IT SIMPLE!

[Jackdandy]

Hi everyone and thanks for your sharing and support Happy Sunday the sun is shining here on the sunny gold coast The fever was strong last night and I beat it Glad that I did If I didn’t I would had a sleepless night and woke up sick and looking for ways to get money to last me to payday Its amazing how I can work so hard for money and then want to self destruct and throw it all away How is it that I can work two jobs and still have no respect for money .There’s been days Ive worked 15 hours and blown the money in less than an hour. So many times lost a weeks wages in a couple of hours . I am lucky for so far my body is holding up well Just have to keep on working on the mind Its been 4 days since I gambled this time What is it that I’ll miss Wont miss not being able to sleep Wont miss feeling desperate and angry Wont miss feeling sick in my stomach Wont miss the shame of borrowing money from friends and family Today I am not going to feel sorry for myself Today I am not going to gamble 

Gambling is not a way to escape my problems 

[kathryn]

I remember feeling soooo strange when i stopped feeling sick.  I had been feeling that way for 15 years!!!!!  It took a while for that to settle.

Enjoy that sun, we have some coming our way next week…..finally!!!!!  Ive missed it!

Keep doing what you’re doing, love K xxx

[Nick]

Hi Jackdandy hope you are doing okay, just been reading all the posts you have got from the wonderful supportive people on here , i have started writing useful tips and advice down, whichever way you use the advice it’s all good.

[Jackdandy]

Been so good this week until last night 

Hate myself again 

Got drunk and back to square one 

Why 

Really good people on here appreciate all your messages 

[vera]

Because you are a CG, Jack
(same as me!)
And because booze and gambling make bad bedfellows.
Back to the Drawing Board.
We can’t have the “drug” without the hangover!
When it becomes painful and we suffer enough, we will quit.
Not until then!
that’s been my experience.

[kathryn]

Maybe you were testing yourself a little bit????
A big fat F!!!!
So, move on and let it go.
Don’t let this send you backwards.
Let it drive you forward. That gambling hangover is not pretty!
If theres barriers to put up, do it. If you need a meeting, go to it, if you need to post here 500 times, do it, If you have to talk to someone, make the call.
We have all been in your shoes, you’re not alone. Use what you need to and get back on the horse.
Its a slip. Accept it and move on.
You’ll be ok. Take care, love Kxxxx

[Jackdandy]

Thanks Vera and K and everyone else

[Jackdandy]

Good advice 

I need to keep posting here everday 

Thanks K 

Thinking today about my triggers and drinking is one of them

it is another way of switching off for me 

Have to face my fears 

Pay my bills ,Get my taxes sorted ,been something I haven’t been able to face up to for 3 years, do a budget etc etc 

Thanks again everyone 

[i-did-it]

Hi jack
Whatever our weakness we can be sure that alcohol will not help our resolve to quit or be moderate . For me alcohol doesn’t really make me want to gamble but I put huge mountains of food away when I drink- the result – I look like that same mountain lol!

It is so difficult to stop gambling Jack but i think we learn a little along the way each time we abstain and even each time we have a slip.

You have identied alcohol as a trigger so you could focus on having incredibly high barriers before you drink- like no cash in your pocket , a pre-paid taxi, or whatever it is you need for your circumstances .

You do have a lot to offer someone – you have you !
Although if you could get this horrible addiction under control just think how’s good life would be.

Have you been to Counseling – I think it might be helpful as it could well be that there are real things to blame for you developing this addiction and counselling might be a better way to explore them than on a date ?

Well done for all the days you managed to stay gamble free – this so a process not a miracle cure and you are really working at it !

[Jackdandy]

Hi I did it 

Thank you good advice 

The pokies started to get a hold of me in 2009

When my relationship with my ex became a little miserable and dissapointing 

I wanted to move and she didn’t 

In the end we moved and things weren’t going to bad

Had money and a pretty good job

Then in 2011 I lost a sister 

She was my best friend 

I dealt with it by completely self destructing 

12 months I drank and gambled every day and I really didn’t want to go home to the wife 

My fault not hers 

I left her in 2012 and since then its taken till now to get to the stage where I want to be well 

I just cant go on like this anymore

In the meantime I have tried ga meetings counseling and self exclusion 

Its my thoughts that I need to change

One of the thoughts I have often is loneliness doesn’t work for me 

Ive got into relationships I shouldn’t have because of this feeling and have ended up feeling more miserable than I was 

Im not making that mistake anymore 

So today I am thinking 

Get myself right 

Change my thoughts and my behavior 

If I can get my life back on track 

Maybe then I will be ready to find someone 

Until then I aim no catch

This site and everyone’s responses ,stories and the poems are helping like nothing else ever has 

Thank you so much for caring 

[finding_laura]

Hey Jack,

that last post is pretty thoughtful with lots of possibilities. I think we really do have to learn to be well in our selves without any external escape or distraction. We have to deal with it, whatever is driving this addiction currently. Keep at it. If at first you don’t succeed you try adding or changing something. Eventually something will click. I’m praying you keep at it. Laura

[Jackdandy]

Hi Laura 

Went 7 days this time

Thats a bit of a record for me 

Why did I test myself 

Triggers got me 

At least I paid the rent 

Had cash and was tired 

Have to keep trying cant let this beat me 

Thanks again 

[Jackdandy]

Hi Laura 

Went 7 days this time

Thats a bit of a record for me 

Why did I test myself 

Triggers got me 

At least I paid the rent 

Had cash and was tired 

Have to keep trying cant let this beat me 

Thanks again 

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