[suerodgers]

I’m awake again. Although I really wish I wasn’t. I can’t get beyond the embarrassment and fear of what is going to happen when I have to tell my family what I have done and how bad my gambling problem really is. I wake up everyday wishing I wouldn’t have. But I know eventually I have to. They know I have a problem. But I don’t think any of them know just how deep I’ve sunk myself. I’m afraid my husband will leave me. I’m afraid of how embarrassed they all will be of me.I don’t want to lose them.But how can I blame them if they do? What if my underhanded sneaky crap lands me with n prison? Who will take care of everyone then? That can’t afford to pay someone. I’ve already blown through all the savings. I hate being the person I’ve become.

[kathryn]

Hi suerodgers,
You have made a huge leap coming and posting here, in reading your post your words were almost identical to mine 5 years ago. The terror of having to tell your family, not wanting to wake up in the morning, fear fear fear! You have taken the first step, in admitting you have an addiction, so what now? Do you have a plan to tell your husband? I know, i truly know how you are feeling. So here’s what I did. I told my husband, I told him everything. He wasn’t happy I will admit, it was a hard time but we got through it. After I told him , I self excluded from every gambling venue within an hours drive from me. I then started posting here, constantly, joining the groups, taking everyone’s advice and doing it. I gave myself every opportunity to get well. Sue, our secrets keep us sick, this addiction feeds off secrets and lies. Stop feeding the monster, you deserve happiness, gambling will never give you anything but pain. You aren’t responsible for your addiction, would any of us here played that first dollar if we had any idea what would happen, and what we would become. What happens now is your responsibility.
I look forward to hearing more from you. Welcome to GT, I hope you get as much from this site as I have.
Take care, K xxx

[icandothis]

Hi Suerodgers, Those morning afters are horrible. I know. But, you just took one very large and positive step to recovery by finding and posting on this site. Here you will find people who not only care, but who truly understand what you are going through. I also know how hard it is to tell your husband. Another very important step. I can relate, and I am sure many others can as well when you say you hate the person that you have become. I believe that the greatest blessing of recovery(and you are in recovery) is that we can begin to see ourselves differently when we stop gambling. I love what Sad said on someone’s thread. She said, “All we know is that we recognize we have a problem, and we are working on sorting it out.” With time, patience, and a continued commitment to recovery things will sort out. Have faith. And as we always say, Take It One Day at a Time!

[janey1]

<

Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our
privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[charles]

Hi Sue and welcome to the forum. You are already getting some great advice i see.

There is never going to be a good time or easy way to tell your family. The good thing now though is you won’t just be presenting the problem – you can also show them what youa re going to do about it. Show them this site, there is a Family and friends forum as well, tell them about the barriers you are going to put in place. Have the adress of your local GA meeting etc etc

It was hard telling my family but, like yours, they knew I had a problem anyway. They were actually glad I had started to do somethign about it. In recovery they are now proud of me. keep posting and let us know the positive steps you are taking. Hopefully I will see you in a groups here as well soon.

[suerodgers]

Well day2. I did screw up yesterday and spent ten dollars. This gonna be soo hard. But today day is another day I suppose. Were on our way to take our grandkids camping and to amusement park for the weekend. Still not ready to tell hubby. But soon. I really don’t want to ruin the weekend for everyone.
I want to thank all of you for the encouragement and positive thoughts and advice. It made me feel not so alone and helpless for a change. Hoping from here I can draw enough courage to face the future. Just for today, I’m going to enjoy my family gamblefree and the joy and innocence of childhood. I pray this won’t be the last time we do this.Turning it over to the Lord for today ……

[desdemona]

(((suerodgers))) Your name sounds very familiar! Did you start a thread on this site some time ago, or am I confused as I often am??? I can understand the fear of telling your family you have a gambling problem, and not wanting it to ruin your weekend with the grandkids. You may want to identify your resources and come up with a plan of how you are going to work recovery when you tell your family of your problem. Like the rest of us, you will have to identify barriers that you can put in to help you stop gambling. Perhaps you can ban yourself from all gambling venues, let your husband manage the money, go to GA meetings if that suits you, go for counselling, seek an inpatient rehab program, etc, etc. Each person’s situation is unique, so the barriers they put in are unique. I’ve been in recovery coming up 5 years on December 27th, and it hasn’t been perfect, but it has saved my life. Keep coming to this site and posting about your feelings, challenges and accomplishments, as it truly helps. As cgs we isolate yourself so that we can continue gambling, thinking what we are doing is secret, but really a lot of people know that we have a problem. Maybe they don’t know what the problem is, but they do know that we have become mere shadows of who we used to be. They know the joy has left us in our life, to a large extent. Carole

[suerodgers]

Yayyy! Yesterday was day 3 in my attempt! Spent not 1 penny on gambling. Not even on a game at amusement park with grandkids. Of course things ran through my mind. We had a wonderful day! I really need this time away. Today were staying here at the campground hoping it warms up enough to go swimming building a fire and having s’mores tonight. I love my family so much. The thought of losing and being away from them is devastating. Know I’m going to have to “face the music” soon. But going to soak in every second of happiness I can until then so if things go really bad at least we will all have these great memories….. Just for today

[suerodgers]

Ugh. The last 2 days have been pretty awful. My daughter who is a recovering drug addict has decided to adopt out her twins she had on the 21st of July. I feel so bad…. I hurt for her, I hurt for the twins and I hurt for her other two daughters I have been raising for the last 8 years. My father in law whom I am a primary caregiver to, today he cannot stand up unassisted or give himself his insulin shots or even feed himself, this is new for him, we’ve never had the not being able to eat or give himself shots. I’m scared. My husband is drinking so much now, I never really thought about it until today, my sis in law said he;s just not handling the death of his older brother 5 years ago or the fact that his dad is in such a state of decline well. He’s drinking to escape, and I never realized it. I’m so worried about everyone. I have no money so I HAVENT GAMBLED. Right now, if I could solve all these problems I would never even consider it again. Money wont help any of this. I’m just desperately trying to hang on right now. I guess I need to turn this all over to God. And maintain my abstinence from gambling. Gotta get my own head right before I can help anyone else.

[bettie]

I am sorry for the situtation you find yourself in the middle of. You are right on- you can only fix yourself. When we are “in action” we are no good to anyone. Thats the one thing about recovery-life doesn’t automaticly get better. I had a short relaspe after 16 months in recovery because I had the wrong expectation. The difference is now when crisis hits I handle things differently-in a healthier and non self distructive way.
Life is better now but the bed of roses still has thorns.
It’s not life happening TO me, it’s just life happining-the good, bad and ugly.
bettie

[lizbeth4]

Hi Sue, I am sorry that you are going through so much right now in your life. Gambling wouldn’t help anything!! We have a lot in common. My youngest Daughter is a drug addict. She has no children and I suspect that she can’t conceive as the drug use has messed her body up. She was pregnant about 5 years ago but had a miscarriage. We know that we can’t stop their addiction, they have to want to get help and stop. I raised my Grandson for the first few years of his life but his parents finally got it together and have been clean for awhile now and are great parents! My late Husband had a drinking problem, so I dealt with that also. I thought I could help him change early in our marriage but learned that it was up to him to change. I am sorry to hear about your Father-in-law. You can only do your best in taking care of him and if it gets to be too much you may have to place him in a facility. My family tries to take of their own, elderly, but sometimes it is out of our hands and impossible. Remember to take care of yourself, mentally and physically. Sometimes it is hard when everything is on your shoulders. I agree with giving it over to God. Do what you can!! Sometimes everything can feel so overwhelming.. Find so way to have some time just for yourself. Take care!!

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