As predicted many months ago and with all good intentions to stop before it was too late. Alas it did not happen.
My demise is complete. My partner who has been a great source of comfort lately has just about given up on me. In debt again with loans and overdraft over and credit card debt. So it’s all over for me now really. No way back, no one to help and bail me out for a final time. What can I expect I ruined everything and the end is near. A failed suicide attempt yesterday left my neck hurting and bruised. Today is another attempt I’m sure. There is no Way back. My partner has nearly and rightly abandoned me and although I have a few people who care there is no hope and I cannot live with the losses I have had and with that money I could have madeb my daughter better off and more happy. My partner more happy. But I was consumed and that’s it. I am in chaos with life on every aspect and will leavev chaos behind after I’m gone. But I cannot go on. I have ruined everything and its better I leave before I do more damage in life. I can’t sleep , eat and look after myself properly. I am overwhelmed by life events (moving house, gambling, a failing car, a failing at work) I could name more. I am not functioning basically and its now all gone and over. (I cannot be that homeless man on the streets of london). Which i always predict for myself. 22 years in the navy (fought for my country in 3 wars / Iraq x2 and Yugoslavia war, and look at me now I have and am nothing…
All take heed – please stop gambling right now if you have a chance to in life.
It is hard and I am consumed by my losses. And ruined now other peoples life because of this situation. Gee whiz, damn it . How did it go so wrong so suddenly. O well it has and no one can help me….
