[K-Man]

Hello everyone. My name is K and I have been gambling for the past 16 years. I started when I was 18, and like many of the stories I read here, it started off as a form of entertainment. Pardon my English, it’s not my native tongue. I don’t write very well but I hope you’re able to understand what I say. Also, this will be the first time for me to admit that I have a problem with gambling. It’s been a long journey and how I wish I could rewind time. I just want all those wasted years back, correct the mistakes I’ve made and mend broken relationships with family and friends. I’ve lost almost everything, and most of that everything, money cannot buy. They were friendships, love, and trust.

I had a great life growing up, being the youngest and only son from 4 siblings, I was pampered and you may say I’m a spoilt brat. My parents ensured I had quality education and I went to the best college. I spent 2 years at my first college but did not complete my studies. Spent most my days gambling (soccer) and on many occasions landed myself in trouble. College fees were used to feed my gambling addiction. My sisters were always there to bail me out in the beginning but they too could no longer tolerate my behaviour and compulsive lying and alerted my parents. I had little to no remorse. I abused their love and trust, continued gambling heavily hoping I’d win some back. If I don’t, what’s to worry? I know someone will come to my aid. This believe fuelled me to go further down this bottomless pit. 

I moved to a different state and completed my degree and landed myself a decent job. The salary was great and with little commitments I waged bigger and bigger bets. I didn’t have to borrow anymore. I gambled with what I had initially but later found myself maxing out credit cards and defaulting in bank loans. They remain unpaid till this day. Given the dire circumstance, I don’t seem to be able to stop. I even got myself addicted to online casinos, Baccarat to be precise and started gambling on my mobile phone too. 

It’s getting out of control. I’m tired, ashamed, broken, angry and very sad. My gambling habit has turned me into a monster. I’ve stolen from friends and family and even from the place I work at. Unjustly, I never got into trouble for my actions. Perhaps it was God handing me a second chance. In return, I stopped. I still have the same job today but with very little focus left. I’ve ran out of people I could borrow from and is way behind with my bills and with very little left to go through the week. I have zero savings and live on pay check to pay check where  95% of it goes into gambling. I wear the same clothes I wore 5 years ago and I look horrible. The wear and tear of gambling is finally showing.

Lord, give me strength to take the first step to recovery.

[velvet]

Hello K and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[stephenm]

Hi. I’m in a bad way because of gambling. I lost my last 230 on Friday. I have no money even for milk. I sold my sons ps4 and gambled it,borrowed from work and gambled it, my father gave me money and gambled it,spend all my wages,bills unpaid and my car needs repair. I owe credit cards,behind on my mortgage payments etc. I will never get the money back that i have spent over the years. Your not on your own. We have a choice – get busy living or get busy dying…Somebody send that to me today on my phone….. Just think how important you are to your family. Dont give up…..Keep trying to stop….Im really in a bad way but i have start some where…….

[K-Man]

Thank you Stephen. I admire your strength and positivity. I rolled on my bed for many hours today and can’t seem to shut my mind. I feel sick. It’s very sad to see a common theme is so many of us. Yet we continue burying ourselves slowly over the years. I wish you speedy recovery and will keep you in my prayers. You’re not alone too and yes, we have to start somewhere. For me, it’s today.

[i-did-it]

Hi K,
Well done for coming on here an looking for help. I have gambled for many years and but now have been stopped for about six months .
I did it by putting gambling blockers on my internet devices and I joined gamstop (which actually I think is pretty useless )- at one point I destroyed an iPad to stop me gambling.

I did find it really hard to stop but I feel so much better now .

We all can stop you know – we just need the right support – joining this site is a great first step!

[stephenm]

It is going to be a very hard journey but a rewarding journey. For me my partner wont even help me. I know its not her fault. She is so hurt. She does’nt know what to do. I dont have any money to put in the car for petrol to go and see my son, my father or my brother.,so i can talk to someone. My partner is not talking to me. I don’t blame her. I have taken food out her mouth by gambling the money and the rest. Yes i would like support but as Laura said i need to gain support. Gambling has taken all this away from me. That is the reason why i must start
this journey…..To be with the people i love and to enjoy the beautiful life around me. I don’t see any of this at the moment and its going to take a very long time to make things
right. My head is about to spin off thinking. I feel sick since Friday.. I’m in a big black hole….there is tiny light in this hole called hope… The first thing i have to do is stop gambling to get to the light….How can this be done….How to stop gambling…Let all money you lost go….I know I wont get it back….the rest i don’t honestly know…..People here will help
me and i have to help myself bet this…The journey will do together and it will be hard. Talk soon

[K-Man]

i will fight these demons head on. I’m thinking of re-connecting with old mates this weekend. They deserve to know why I’ve “disappeared” for more than a year. They were good friends who’ve helped me financially in the past.  I know they’d probably loathe me by now since it has happened before in the past and I still owe most of them money. For now it temains as a plan. I must execute it. Lord give me strength. I feel so lonely.

[K-Man]

Keep up with the positivity Stephen. Keep posting too whenever you feel lonely or have the urge to gamble. It has helped me. Let’s first get ourselves into the right state of mind. Have you had regular meals by the way?

[finding_laura]

Hey Kman, welcome to this forum. If you truly desire to stop gambling one of the most helpful things is to not have access to money except for a very small allowance. Do you have anyone left in your life who would deposit your pay in their account and give you a small allowance while you fight this. We often have strong urges or withdrawal when we stop and not having access to money can help fight these urges. You need to find ways to put barriers in place. Please don’t make contact with long lost friends in order to hit them up for money as that will only keep the cycle of gambling and shame going. If you had a really good friend amongst them that you think would help you? With stopping not continuing that would be positive. Reach out for any support you can get through your government health services (if in UK or other country that offer these things). Attend a Gamblers Anonymous meeting. Attend group sessions here on the site. let us know how things are going.
take care,
Laura

[Autor]

Beiträge