[vera]

I can’t find your thread, Steev .

I just want to wish you all the best with the move. I hope it’s going smoothly.

You give a lot of your time supporting newcomers here.

I hope you get the support in real life that you need with the upcoming change.

Exciting days ahead.

Keep it simple.

Best regards for the future.

[Monica1]

Thanks steev for your post on my thread. Glad to see Vera has set you up on your own thread. I am interested in what has brought you here as you have been gamble free for decades now, is that right?

[i-did-it]

Hi Steev
So glad u now have your own thread !
Hope the move is going well.
Maybe see you in group later
Xx

[Steev]

I’m probably a bit of a rarity as a recovering gambler who is also a qualified counsellor.  I decided when I first started to practice counselling that I would not work specifically with gamblers because I was worried about my own recovery.  I worked with heroin users and their families for a while – but I didn’t get caught up in their stories as I have never used drugs.  More recently I have been struggling with low self-esteem and didn’t feel I could continue counselling so have had a book selling business which I gave away on Wednesday.  So I guess I am retired – and now feel confident enough in my own recovery to work with others on here (if they will have me.)

Just how long I have been gamble free is a tricky one.  My issue was slots and I haven’t had a problem with them for decades – but I have had one or two slips myself (one was to see if I could gamble „normally“ now.) and I think the last one was about 7 or 8 years ago.  But there are other things which could be called gambling such as raffles, the occasional lottery and appearing on a TV game show.  Gambling in some peoples eyes maybe.  I have decided since coming onto here to be completely gamble free from now on though.  Hope this answers the question.  I will put on a fuller post when I have more time after the house sale.

[vera]

Steev, I hope I haven’t invaded your privacy by „imposing“ this thread on you?

I just couldn’t fail to comment on the amoumt of support you offer here.

You would be a great addition to the GT Team 

. They are looking for counsellors.

  ( ARE YOU LISTENING „TEAM“?)!!

[sherrie]

I don’t understand the context behind the statement „if we’ll have you“ like are you touting for business or working for GT as a volunteer. Either way, I’d have you! You are an incredible support and a great calming influence. Your posts are considered and thoughtful. All round, I think you’re a good egg. There, that’s my vote of confidence for what it’s worth. 

Sherrie 

xoxoxo

[Steev]

I guess I’ve mentioned my low self esteem.  I don’t have the time atm to volunteer counsel – what with the move and everything.  I think I will need to do some specific training, then I hope to take it up. I will try and censor negative comments about myself.  Thanks for the reminder and for the endorsement.  Appreciated!

[i-did-it]

Hi Steev
I want to tell you that you are wonderful support to others on here – because you are .
It is amazing sometimes the disconnect between how we see ourselves and how others see us .

It has made me think !

[i-did-it]

Hi Steev I thought I would bring your thread to the fore .

You are most kind in posting on my thread and it is nice to return this (the new “I value myself more me” has given up writing to those who don’t value me enough to reply on my thread )!

How are your travelling plans going? Have you started on your journey?

Looking forward to hearing all about it .

[Steev]

I didn’t realize I would be so busy! I am travelling up to Scotland tomorrow – but so many friends want to see me before I go to Ireland next week. I hope things will calm down there as I will be staying longer in each place.

I hope things are well with you!

[Steev]

So I am driving through Todmorden after coffee with friends and I feel peckish so decide to stop and park up. The car park is near the canal and I spot an elderly couple on a bench eating their sarnies. Thinking this looks like a good idea, I go to a nearby shop (ok a chippy) and buy a sarnie, (ok a chip buttie) and go over to their bench to find them gone – but their bag and stick still there. Thinking this odd – I look over the wall to the towpath to see the chap lying on the floor – “oh no he’s ill,” I thought – but no his partner is IN the canal and he is trying to get her out. The problem is that he is all skin and bones and she is … erm not. Knowing I would not be much use I go back to the car park and recruit a younger fitter guy and between the three of us we pull her out. It wasn’t very dignified and the woman was clearly distressed but at least she was out. The younger chap was a painter and decorator and had sheets in his car that we wrapped her in – she was wet from head to toe so had obviously been under at some point. So the adventures are beginning …

[charles]

Well done Steev,

Looks like recovery has given you your own life back and in this instance put you in a position to save someone elses. Good job.

[i-did-it]

Haha steev – you are a hero ! Wow – imagine you saved a life !
You need to write here everyday so we can keep up with your adventures.
Did u get to eat ur chip buttie?

[Steev]

Ok she fell in and was upset and shocked – but the water was not that deep, up to chest height – it was just that the bank was steep and she couldn’t get out.  Also I think it was really uneven underfoot – she was panicking a bit – but her life was not in danger!  Yes I got the butty eventually but I hate cold chips!!

[vera]

….comes in all forms.
Scary experience, Steve.
Lucky that you came by at the right time. I’m a believer in God’s Providence.
You were meant to be there!

[vera]

Did I read that you are on your way to Ireland, Steve?
Bring your snow gear!!!

[vera]

Did you arrive safely, Steve?

[Steev]

I’m sitting in my little cottage by the sea. I’m here for over 3 weeks – so time to work on my own journal. 😉 I hope you’re well and having a grand weekend!

[i-did-it]

Hi Steev,
How absolutely lovely. I hope you have a good turf fire and a bottle of “ the creator“- a good Irish whiskey.
Enjoy the peace .
What will you do over the next three weeks?

[Steev]

Ah now there’s a question.

Slow down, unwind, think about my new life. I want to start a blog, to get to grips with things like Skype and social media, to take better photos and to learn some basic German for the next stage of my journey. That’ll do for starters.

Meanwhile I am pleased I was able to get the peat fire going this morning – soon I will be off for a walk. Hope you enjoy your weekend …

[Jezi]

That sounds lovely steev – you are so worth it. Starting a blog sounds like a good idea:) it will be like a journal for yourself aswell. I do a lot of instagramming for the sole purpose of capturing my life in pictures.

Enjoy your walk and the rest of the weekend.

[vera]

I envy you, Steve.
I love Donegal.
The hidden beaches, the wild countryside, the air, the music, the people (well some of them LOL).
Dun na nGall means „Land of the Stranger „.
I also like being a stranger.
Make the best of your time there.
Avoid Bundoran like a plague.
I think Broadband can be hit n miss up there but you seem to be unaffected.
RELAX AND ENJOY!

[Monica1]

We got cut off, Dominican Republic is a symbol of recovery. When things were bad for me in recovery, idi and I befriended a Canadian lady on here, Sarah, who spent winters in the dr. We were both inspired by it and I was destitute but I said that I would go there, and one year later I am, as symbolic of recovery.

[Steev]

Will you connect with Sarah whilst you are there? 

It sounds a lovely place to be – warm and sunny – which Donegal is definitely NOT at the moment.  But it is peaceful.  Hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend.

[i-did-it]

Thanks for your post on my thread Steev.
Thinking about you on your travels , and Monica and her plans it does make me wonder what would symbolise recovery for me. I guess it’s something different for everyone, but I think this would be a great topic to explore in a group.

If we don’t know where we are going how will we know when we have got there?

Hope you enjoy the horrendous rain we are having right now (I have always loved rain- both listening to it rattle in the window pains, and tramping through it in my wellies ).

Enjoy the peace

[Monica1]

We should pick one of our groups for this topic.

[bonnie62]

I’m new and I was looking for the diaries of the people who posted on my first entry. I could not find one for steev but I found THIS… which I guess turned into your diary. Seems everyone is appreciative of your contributions here. Hello Steev. and hello anyone else who reads this. I hope to get to a topic meeting in the near future. 🙂 bonnie

[vera]

No, Steev,
The 12th is not an anniversary.
On the 12th of every month, I make an electronic payment to a Savings Account that is out of reach.
In March 2015, I was cleared out financially of a large sum of money in the space of 48 hours. I was mentally, physically and emotionally in shock. Devastated, in fact.
A member on GT recommended that I would make a „Plan“ to restore my loss and prevent myself from slipping into despair.
The Plan involved opening an online account and transferring a monthly sum on a certain date (12th) to restore that loss.
It worked well. I will continue building on that plan.
It brings balance into my life.
As I continue to repay my huge debt (which has reduced from six to for figures) I can look at the „plan“ building up. The scales are almost balanced.
Money is not my God but I need to see the fruit of my labours in financial as well as other areas of my life.
Thanks for posting to my thread.
I hope you still have a roof over your head. It’s very stormy.

[Monica1]

Update on your travels, noticed you posting on others threads but not yours! Expect the weather was ghastly like here, wind and rain.

[Steev]

Yes – I will work on posting a proper forum post next week.  I seem to be quite busy, given I’m in the middle of nowhere.

Yes the weather has been awful here – but I’ve no idea if this is typical of the region or not.  Everybody says things were much better before I arrived then eye me suspiciously.

For a brief dry spell, I walked up to one of the nearby loughs and sat and just watched the wind blowing over the water and enjoying the silence – I guess it is things like that, that keep me busy!

St Patricks Day tomorrow – shoud be quite an event here – not sure where I will be or what I will be doing but hope to enjoy it.

[Monica1]

I would like your advice steev on how you managed over 20 years to pay off your debts. My big debts r so big that I struggle to deal with them and I put these off because a) require long letters and evidence that I don’t have the time to do and b) I don’t think I can pay them off before I retire. So putting off the inevitable which advice has always been bankruptcy. But I wondered how you had the patience over 20 years, cos I don’t have that and pay g out huge amounts of money every month on debts I find I can’t begin the uphill struggle of the big debts. Have sorted out the smaller ones ie keeping my home etc.

[Steev]

I think I would have done things differently.  And I wouldn’t presume to give anyone advice on financial matters as I am so cr*p at that sort of stuff – except to say talk to experts.

My story … When I decided to stop gambling in the late 90s I was around 20K in debt.  This didn’t seem to go down – even though I was stopped – I think partly to interest rates (most of it was on credit cards) and because I was spending so much in petrol getting to GA meetings all over the place (I tried for one a night at one point.) However I did have a mortgage which I was keeping up payments with – and as I had a good secure job in Local Government – I didn’t worry too much. 

Ten years down the line and I have reduced my debt to around £10K – mainly by working evenings on top of my day job.  I decided to leave work and go self-employed and quickly found various jobs which meant I was working 7 days a week – but all were either temporary or freelance.  Then love appeared – over the internet and it was a long distance relationship.  Very long distance – like 6000 miles.  She came to the UK first and of course I had to go there and … well it was expensive to say the least.  Also to get her into the UK – I had to prove I had a full-time permanent job so I could support her without recourse to public funds.  So bang goes all the freelance contracts I had set up and once again I joined local government.  By now I was struggling to make the payments on my credit cards – so decided to re-mortgage my house.  In this way I was able to keep my head above water and support E***** until she found work (which luckily she did quite quickly.)

Then I found out that she was cheating on me – which was awful in itself, but this was after she had sworn that she wasn’t and so all trust was lost.  I asked her to move out and carried on solo – but I soon sank into depression and had to take time off work.  Over a few years I was down to half salary and had stopped taking on „extra“ work – so my income fell.  Then I was offered voluntary severance with a modest payout so took it and took some time out.

After a few months – my debt was still increasing and I tried to sell some of my „stuff“ to pay it off.  I enjoyed selling some of the books I had and decided to make this a career – so went full-time with it, but made very little money.  I was still paying my mortgage though and the value of my house had gone up – so although I was in crisis cashflow wise I was at least asset rich.  The book business went downhill fast and I was rescued several times but friends helping out with loans and a PPI payout.

I ended up with 2 options – either sell and use the money to pay off all my debt and then do the travelling I wanted to do – or take out equity release which would have paid off most – but not all my debt and then try and keep my head above water until retirement (in 4 years time.)  It really was a no brainer.

So here I am – with money in the bank but no home.  Only time will tell if I have made the right decision.  I hope some of this might help you with your situation.

[Steev]

That at the time of selling my house – my debt had risen to nearly 40K of which 36 was to credit cards and the rest friends.  All are now paid back.

[Jezi]

Hey steev! Too bad the weather has been kind of edgy so to speak, but it sounds like youre enjoying life. And congrats on being debt free. That must feel good 🙂 where are you now and where are you going next? Looking forward to hear about your adventures.

Hope you are well xxx

[vera]

Thanks for staying in touch by posting to my thread, Steev.
I have been off the GT radar for a while.
Not gambling.
It’s over a hundred days since I last gambled. ‚Seems like a different world in many ways…..
I just checked in tonight to see what’s happening here. I owe a few posts to members.
Are you still touring Eire?
The weather has improved but could be better.
Take care on your travels.
Did you attend GA?

[i-did-it]

HI Steev,
Thank you for writing about your finances – it is really helpful when someone explains how they got out of debt. I’m afraid I found the experts pretty useless – I tried STEPCHANGE and they appear to use a computer programme to decide what advice to give rather than treat each person as an individual.

How are your travels going? I am away on a wee holiday myself right now – and making progress with staying gamble free.
Ps i think you have made the right decision- being debt free must feel so good and remember you can end the travels any time you choose to. Its good sometimes to just „live“.
Chat soon!

[vera]

During the GA Meeting last night, which was powerful , I thought „Steev would have liked this“.
A lot depends on the atmosphere in the room, Steev.
Try a different group.
Are you still in Ireland?

[Steev]

Just for a few more days.  Drove down through Tipperary, Limerick and into Cork today and am now staying in a log cabin in someone’s garden.  Gone from a 3 bed cottage to a bedsit – but it is cosy and will do for a week.  After that I am off to Rosslare for the ferry to Wales where I am staying for another week before going back to England.

I don’t think I will be trying any more GA groups – I am happy enough here and I am interested in other ways of working rather than 12 step – not that there is anything wrong with 12 step, but I know it is not for everybody.

[vera]

Fair bit of driving, Steev. Weather in South West not great. Lots of power cuts.
I don’t hear much mention of the 12 Steps in GA.

[vera]

Just a thought, Steev. Apart from the 12 Steps, is GT any different from GA? Do GT members use the 12 Steps? I think many may do. On a different note, I like to meet people face to face. Sometimes I ask myself „Who am I talking to in GT and telling details of my life on the www?“ Is it really „vera“ you are taking to or am I a Nigerian scammer who dropped in to clear out all your bank accounts LOL or is Steev really Steev or a pair of 16 year old girls having a laugh? I’m sounding paranoid now but we do live in a strange world. Ever get suspicious , Steev? At least in GA what you see is what you get.

[i-did-it]

Hi Steev,
i hope the holidays are going well. i cant wait for the long weekend.
Following up on your last post I have bee looking into the SMART programme which Beem has been following. I am still on background reading but I am blown away by what i have read so far.

I hope you enjoy the rest of your stay in Ireland and that the weather is kind to you!

[Autor]

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