[pocket5]

I’m a 30 year old guy and here’s my story.

I grew up in a moderate family in Asia. I’ve got a good education from a reknown university and high paying job right now (roughly earning $9,000 – $12,000 a month). I started knowing how to gamble when i was 14 years old because my dad is a gambler. he use to gamble on football matches, horce racings, etc. and he do that so often at home and there’s where i learn how to gamble on sports (only football).

what didn’t help is my love for football has placed me in a very vulnerable state where if i dont gamble on a football match, i dont enjoy watching it even my fav team is playing. started to really gamble with my savings of few hundred bucks during my uni days (when i was 19-21 years old) and i’ve lost $7,000 in a single weekend and i had no money to pay the bookie. told my mom, she cried and i’ve learnt from there on. i’ve not gamble since then and it lasted for a good 5-6 years until 2 years back (when i was 28 years old), earning decent money and lost quite a bit. this occurs like an annual affair where i would lost 10,000 and then made a point to quit, and when big football seasons arrive (i’ve got peer pressure and I succumb to betting again). Throughout this times, I’ve taken personal loans to cover my credit card bills. I’m financing it monthly and have no problem paying it for 2 years now. 

Just two months back, I’ve lost $18,000 in a month and I felt broken. i’ve lost all whatever savings I’ve got left and I’m now having trouble to pay my bills. I placed bets again over the world cup weekend and lost another $3,000, and I’m writing this now. I feel horrible, but in a way, I’m immune to this feeling – because I’ve done it again and again and again. Just yesterday, I was winning $5000 and now I’m down -$3,000. So I’ve lost $8,000 in a day. 

Throughout the years where I wasn’t gambling, I’ve got savings and I managed to buy an apartment myself (its still under construction and due to complete maybe in 2 years time). I’m in a relationship and I just have no money to get married! I don’t even have any savings left.

I took up another personal loan to consolidate all my debts (this is still in process and hopefully can be approved in 2-3 days time), so monthly I’d need to pay a certain amount (around 35% of my monthly salary) and get done with all the credit card bills, and I have to service the loan for the next 7 years. If I do not do that, I’ll never be able to get back up. 

I need advise here, how can I quit gambling once and for all. I’ve tried quitting it for a long time (i thought it’d be for good, but no…the moment I touch any betting sites, the trouble will come again and here I am). During those years, I forced myself not to visit any football sites even for news, etc. or even catch a football game. Basically I distanced myself from football. 

I recognised that there’s no one to help me besides myself. I cannot afford to tell my parents what happened. They’re old and not in good state of health and I do not want to disappoint them in any other way. My credit card bills are amounting to $60,000 which is quite crazy. 

Right now, all I can do is QUIT FOOTBALL BETTING forever and do debt consolidation to have a fixed amount that I finance every month. Cancel all my credit cards and do my savings all again. Start all over again. It is daunting thoughts but I cannot do anything, but to live with it. Neither my friends, partner, parents, anyone know about this problem. Only myself. I’m not as depressed, but I feel very disappointed with myself why do I do it again and again. 

I promise I’ll never ever touch a betting site anymore, go to casino, or anything to do with bettings. One good point is that my accrued commissions from my job will probably be banked in, in a couple of months time (2-3 months) at most, and I’ll have around $40k-$50k there. It could be a good start as a savings account. 

I will change and I promise myself that. I’d appreciate if you can drop you comments here and let me know that I’m not doomed in any way. 

[pocket5]

i’d greatly appreciate any advise, comments for my story. i’m quite lost in terms of how to deal with my own financial.

i’m also at the age of getting married in 2-3 years time, but i’ve got zero savings as of now and my new apartment is due to complete in 2 years time and there’s anything chunk of money needed.

my parents are not getting any younger and their health state is not the best.

[finding_laura]

Hi Pocket and welcome to the forum. You are not doomed and there is hope to have a gamble free future. In the past when you stopped for so long, you gave up football as it was a trigger for you. It caused you urges. I would say that is probably necessary again for a while anyway. This is very difficult to control on our own without any help, but it can be done. I’ve seen it in instances where people have no one they can rely on. Definitely cut up your credit cards and close your accounts as soon as you refinance. If you fill them up again you will find it difficult to pay your expenses and you risk your apartment you have purchased. Close all your betting accounts. Is there any way to ban from the gambling web sites where you are? Transfer unused pay into an account that requires you to go in to the bank to access it. Or maybe start a savings account for the wedding with your girlfriend and put both names on it where you both have to sign to get it out. You have to try and protect yourself from yourself if that makes any sense. Lock in long term savings in an investment. Give yourself time to think. This is an addiction. And leaving yourself access to money to gamble is like a crack addict trying to carry around crack all day.

I would also ask what led you back to gambling? You said it was peer pressure. Do you have something lined up you will say when you face this pressure again? I say I don’t gamble anymore as I just liked it too much and it liked my money too much. And leave it there. A big no thank you if they persist. Think of what you will say that is comfortable for you.

Keep posting and reading here. Attend a group meeting here or talk to the counselors on the help line. You can have a future! Time to fight for it. Take care,
Laura

[velvet]

Hello Pocket and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[charles]

Hi Pocket,

Well done on looking for help.

Read the other stories here and you will see a lot that you will relate to. You will also see the success stories – what are they doing that you can apply to your own situation?

What will stop that peer prerssure next time? I would recommend telling your peers that you have decided to stop gambling. Not just football gambling, ALL gambling. Then if theya re real friends they will stop pressuring you.

You have stopped before and then started again. If you are planniogn to marry and to buy that apartment then I would open any savings account in your futiure wofe’s name. Then you can’t get tempted by it as it builds up.

Keep posting and let us know the positive steps that you are taking.

[ButterflyBeeBee]

Hello,

Well done for finding your way here. I would highly recommend protecting yourself by installing gambling blocking software and actively trying to distract yourself during the football season. Perhaps change your scenery or do something else rather than spend time watching football with people that help you succomb to gambling. I think until you change your habits and who you socialize with in this dangerous time you will end up locked in a cycle.

[Autor]

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