[Steev]

You may wish to read Ken’s post – „relapse symptoms“ in the recovery tools part of the forum. This one spoke to me:
Got it made; no longer fear relapse. Going into a slippery situation to prove you have no problem. Do this often enough and it will wear down your defences. Don’t test yourself: there is no payoff.

I remember an academic telling me – relapse doesn’t begin when you place the bet – it is all the thoughts that go into it long before. Be careful.