[levi]

I won’t go into all the detail but enough to say: I fell back in, and big style. It was terrifying, mindbogglingly stupid, reckless and ridiculous – and I have nobody to blame but myself. Every block possible is now in place. I’ve had to sell my car to recover the finances I threw away on nothing more than an hour of ‘fun’ watching bright lights and spinning reels. Thousands of pounds I worked so hard for, lost again. Again.
My last redemption was the sale of my car which was where the last of my funds were tied up. I get paid at the end of this month and can pay off everything I owe from there on. After almost 2 years of fighting this, and making excuse upon excuse for my stupidity, – this is literally my very last lifeline, my car is my sacrifice, my punishment.
17/04/2012 is the date I will remember forever. The day that my life really will be starting again free of this demon because I have literally no way to mess this up again. No excuses.
My job is ‘changing’ to the point I am starting to feel like I hate it. There is a big meeting on Wednesday which will dictate my future there. Another reason why every penny I have right now needs to be protected and cherished. This is it. The brand new start, for real.—– Levi

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