[Wills1984]

This is my first post and the first time I have been on this website.

i have a gambling problem. my addiction is mainly horse racing and slots. I’ve been gambling over 15 years and it has ruined my life.

i have tried so many times to stop but I always go back to it. it feels like everyone around me is living this glorious life, buying houses going on holidays 

and I am in my 30s broke, and in debt everywhere. I know I only have myself to blame. I think I find that the most frustrating. I choose to do this.

i feel like I have been broke for most of my life. Friends don’t Know about my problem, they find it weird how,I have never got any money and yet I still live at home

i lie and say I have to support my parents when in reality it’s the other way around, I have a decent job but as soon as payday comes BOOM 

i waste it all. Then all month I’m broke, borrowing money, and living in poverty. I’m so used to this now but it has to stop.

i feel so ashamed to say I have used my mothers cards to gamble, I always pay her back but I know I can’t justify that I am stealing from her.

it hurts the most to let my mum down and to see how ashamed she is of me. But it doesnt stop me. Last month I got a ppi refund for nearly two thousand pounds

i promised to use it wisely and pay off some debts. But I didn’t. I wasted it all gambling. I’ve tried getting my parents to control my finances but it’s pointless 

one day my head is all up for stopping and the next day I turn into a monster demanding acces to my money. 

I do really really want to stop. But I have been at this point before and I’ve never achieved it so how can I make myself stop.

any advice please 

[CraigMac6]

Welcome to the forum Wills. A lot of what you are going through and the experiences youve had in life are very similiar to us all. Im in my 30’s as well and im always broke too. I never seemed to have any money and the reality was, gambling took all my money. The good news is you can get yourself back on track but that will only happen if you stop gambling. Its very hard to quit but my advice to you would be to simply take your addiction one day at a time. If you truly want to quit gambling you will. Yes there will be tough days but we can all manage to just quit for one day. Wake up the next day and repeat, and before you know it, its been 7 days without gambling. Guess what? If you can go 7 days without it, you cab make it 8 and so on.
I dont have all the answers but i do know ypur life (and mine as well) will always suck if we continue to gamble. Yes the thrill is exciting but the downs are miserable and not worrh all the financial troubles and stress.
If you want a better life you can have it. We all know in order to have that better life, we must remove gambling from it. Until then the vicious cycle will continue.
Atay close to this site and do everything you can to not gamble today. Just take it one day at a time.
Have a great day and always be thankful for the things we do have.

[Wills1984]

Thank you for your words and support. I haven’t gambled all day and when I was frustrated with gambling yesterday I downloaded gamban. Free trial for a month. So I cant gamble, I went through how I could remove it as I really wanted to gamble today but after about two hours I realised I couldn’t remove the ban off my ipad or iPhone. I was so angry at first but then I thought hang on you want to stop gambling don’t you? I feel like there is two of me one that wants to gamble and one that dosent. It feels so weird that I can’t gamble This evening. I thought I would feel good about that but the truth is I feel empty and I just want to gamble. Does it get easier?

[Wills1984]

Gone another day, so tempted to gamble tonight. I 99% convinced myself that it was ok to gamble. I was ready to use my dads iPad to login and gamble money I don’t have. I have gone to bed and trying to distract myself by watching TV. I am finding it very difficult to get my mind on something else. When does it get easier and does it?

[Peaches and Apple]

Hi Wiils, thank for the post in my thread.

Good luck to you too and stay strong.

[marke]

You have made a good start in coming onto this site, tell yourself that for starters.
I don’t think it will ever be easy, but am thinking the bottom line is we don’t want things to get any worse.
In time things can get easier, this will be different for everybody, dependent on how much damage has been caused by gambling.
I have gambled on and off for years and have genuinely felt great when I have not gambled but I get drawn back in by various “triggers”. I am working on this with a counsellor (not related to this site) and it is helping.
I never accessed any help before but am using every bit of help I can get now to finally stop. Keep posting
All the best

[Wills1984]

Today another day further. I know it sounds bad but life feels so boring without gambling. I’ve tried to get a hobble but I can’t stick to anything I’m interested it. On a positive this is the longest I haven’t gambled for about 5 years. The weekend feels me with dread as that is when I tend to gamble a lot. What do I do with myself all weekend if I don’t gamble? Will I ever wake up and not think about gambling?

[Peaches and Apple]

Hi Wills,

How about trying to exercise? And do you read? If you do, try reading “The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business” by Charles Duhigg.

It helps me.

[Monica1]

But it does take time. When we have gambled excessively, there are withdrawals, anxiety, mood swings and depression but this does pass the bigger distance you put between yourself and your last bet. Support is essential from GA, this site or counselling. We have to make that decision. The lows of gambling compulsively, as I did, are truly awful, and last days or weeks, throwing away huge amounts of money until money becomes meaningless, toy money until we have nothing and then can’t even afford basics like food. The addiction of gambling is awful, a monster and beast that can be put to sleep. The urges will go. You have to search inside yourself, do you really want the total misery that gambling brings, and surrender your situation to your higher power. I don’t want gambling in my life anymore, it destroys everything that is good. You can do it one day at a time.

[Wills1984]

Another day and I still haven’t given in. To be honest I didn’t believe I could make it this far. It’s only 5 days but for me in my mind it has felt like 5 months. I am for the first time this week feeling proud of myself. Today is my monthly payday and normally the day that I spend all my money that I work so hard for in about two hours. I have felt strong all day and my determination to succeed is getting stronger. I know that gamban has really helped me this week so please anyone reading this who can relate please download it and do it. I didn’t think I would ever commit to it but once you make that decision to download it and put it in place there is no going back. I have also been marking the days gambling free on the fridge and that has made me determined to keep going. My mind set has completely changed today, I am nervous about tomorrow being Saturday and is the normal day I love gambling on horse racing all day but with gamban in place and my accounts on self exclusion I won’t have a choice anyway! For years and years I have gambled every Saturday without fail so now after all these years what do I do with my day? I’m having my hair cut and doing some shopping that will at least distract me for some of the day! Thank you so much for the previous comments they have really helped my way of thinking and the support is so Important I hope I am able to offer others help and support.

[kathryn]

5 days……not ‘only’ 5 days!!!
I just read through your posts and I can see the change happening. Maybe time to reconnect with friends hey? Go for a coffee, a beer (you can go where there is no gambling available) dinner, a movie? The longer you don’t gamble the more you will be able to fill your time. See, its not just the money, think about the time wasted on planning, on imagining, on the where, when, how!
This addiction is all consuming.
So good you have put the blocker in place, for me, it was a godsend. Once I knew I COULDNT, I started looking for other things to do.
Time to start living Wills, you will be amazed as time goes on how you ever fitted gambling into your life. Stopping gambling was the best thing I ever did. I was dead. I actually had to buy a diary today for next year because I have so much going on……
Anyway, wanted to welcome you, stay strong, you can do this!!!
Love K xxx

[Wills1984]

Today was the day I have been dreading all week as I usually spend my whole Saturday gambling. I got up,early went and had my hair cut and did a bit of shopping. When I got home all I could think about was betting on a horse, I argued in my head for most of the morning. Then I suddenly had a thought… what if I downloaded the bookies app rather then going online surely gamban could block an app. I had to try it and it was blocked by gamban. If it hadn’t of been blocked I really can’t be confident that I wouldn’t have had a bet. But on the positive I didn’t and I watched a film and distracted myself for the rest of the day. I am so,happy I have made it so far. So many times I have tried to stop gambling but I have failed normally after less then a day. I’ve almost made a week this time and I couldn’t be happier. Thank you for your support. These forums are so important. Take the time to read everyone’s stories and you realise you are not alone and we can all try and support each other through this hellish time.

[Wills1984]

Thank you for your advice and support. Another day done today. 

[vera]

Well done, Wills on resisting the “Saturday Bet”. For me, Saturday is not the only day I could bet. Every day /night would bring a gambling opportunity . The only three things I need are Time, Money and Access. Remove one and the gamble won’t happen. Distracting ourselves pays dividends as does support and accountability. Recovery works only if we reach out. You are not alone. Stay focused

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