[Alisontonge]

Hi everyone, Thank you for viewing my post. Since 2013, i discovered online gambling, before this I have never gambled, never walked into a bookmakers or never considered to. The online games i was hooked to was slots, they were the games that made me come back for more. Now where in 2015, last month i decided to quit, and self excluded my self. The personal offers, promotions, free spins and bets, this is what kept me coming back for more. Our household income is 25K a year after taxes, we currently have 1 child. Sometimes I felt i want to go die, or die in my sleep, were in 50K debt, and are struggling to pay the bills and mortgage. My partner never was also clean never gambled but because I did, he got really upset and started to do the same. Our son James, sufferers from severe food allergies, Eczema and Asthma. He’s highly allergic to Nuts, Dairy, Soya, Banana, Avocado, Kiwi and a lot of environmental allergens too. At 7 months old he was also diagnosed with FSGS Nephrotic Syndrome – a life- threatening kidney condition. We have got ourselves into so much debt we could have used the money for is treatment. We are now currently trying to raise funds for him and hes the only person in our who keeps us going. Thank you for reading my story and hope.. Gambling has ruined are life and we are trying to build our way back up. Love Alison and Family

 

 

[vera]

Hi Alison and welcome to GT.

You will get lots of help and support here to overcome your gambling problem but one thing you will not get is money.
As Recovering CGs most people here are struggling to pay off huge debts. „Lending“to other CGs could be seen as enabling.
I wish you all the best with your Fund Raiser for your baby and for a G free life for you and his dad, one day at a time.
God bless!

[Alisontonge]

I understand but just wanted to share my story and the current situation with my little boy, i agree that their are other people who are in debt also, but just wanted my story heard and shared.

[vera]

I saw the photo of your handsome little boy, Alison. I sincerely hope things go well for your family.
A life without gambling will be the best gift you can give him.

[charles]

Hi Alison,

I hope you have been reading the other stories here. You will have seen many similar to your own. You will also have seen the success stories; what are they doing that you can apply to your own situation?

What positive things can you do to make your next bet less likely? A blocker for your PC? getting to GA meetings? Posting here regularly? Let us know the steps you aretaking.

[lauren05]

Alison, you have made the right decision to come here. I understand your pain and guilt for not being able to do what you could for your son. Gambling and money are never the real reasons we gamble. We turn to gambling to satisfy the void, the pain of our situation and sometimes not being understood and hope that the illusion of gambling with one foul swoop will take us out and give us the power to make the choices we want. But it doesn’t happen that way. In fact gambling controls you and robs you of everything; your self worth, your kindness, your honesty, your joy.

I became addictive with online gambling too which was so easy to do and could not get out. Money burnt in my hand and I would sacrifice all my time, money for bills and eventually all my salary to feed my habit and urge for gambling.

I have found that taking my focus off myself and me and focusing on others gave me focus and a better perspective on life. Your little boy needs you. He should be your focus. Don’t waste time and years and loss of dignity on gambling. I couldn’t stop or help myself for 20 years and only now managing to take control of my life by doing simple, normal things that matter and learning to be content and deal with my situation and massive debt. That scared nervous little girl inside you will always urge you to gamble to get rid of your situation and try to make things right quickly. But that little girl is not responsible and your adult self needs to silence her and speak to her so that you as the adult take control to manage your finances.

It is not easy and we have a mountain that faces us. But with God’s love and strength we can slowly get there and gain back our self esteem and chip away at our debt and feel more happy within ourselves and start enjoying life again.

Don’t beat yourself up, Alison. It is done and you are where you are. Be kind to yourself. Guilt and remorse will only make things worst. You have made a start. Move on and put it all behind you and don’t focus on that mountain. Just focus on each day only and replace it with good things, even chores around the house, reading or playing with your little boy.

I pray that the fundraising will be successful and you will achieve your target. That is in itself will help you towards your goal. I have also joined a charity race to raise funds for disadvantaged children and that resets your compass inside.

Stay strong and focused but just get up, brush it off and move on when you do fall or get down but don’t dwell on it or give it more attention than it deserves. Learn to love yourself again.

God bless and lots of love.

Lauren
xxx

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