[charmou]

I went again today to gamble. I couldn’t get there fast enough! I lost over $400 (now I have to borrow) to get me to next payday.

I am so angry, hurt and ashamed that I am prepared to make a commitment right now to myself that I will not gamble again on the VLTs. The only way to have something different is to do something different, so this is. I vow not to spend another cent on those stupid machines.

I am worth so much more than this. More to follow, I just wanted to have this as my first post to remind myself.

Thank you.

charmou

[Fritz]

It is very hard to admit you have a problem, so good on you for doing that! A great first step!

Be sure to get help and support, and put barriers in place to prevent an easy relapse. Get some help managing your money, get your blocks in place, and talk with someone about it. Write a lot about your experience, whether here or in your personal journal. Get it all out, by speaking and by writing. Re-read your journal often, and reflect what is going on in your mind. Try to find a GA meeting if you can.

The minutes, hours and days may feel like they are moving along much too slowly as you start your recovery. That is natural. Just keep telling yourself that gambling addiction always gets worse, never better. Of all the things you can do with your time, gambling is the one thing that is guaranteed to make you feel worse. Leave it behind, and your life is guaranteed to get better!

It is hardest at first, the urges come on strongly, and when there is a bad taste in your mouth from losing, something in your brain will tell you that you can get it back if you just give it one more try. That is the addiction speaking lies to you. Don’t listen.

When you wake up each day, look in the mirror and say „I choose not to gamble today!“ And you are right on by saying you are worth more than this! I’m pulling for you!

[butchugly]

I hate myself for being so stupid!
I actually told myself yesterday I wouldn’t do it. Then I did!

[Kat37]

Hope u ok stay strong day at time
Katrina

[charmou]

I so understand….all I do is spend and spend. Even when I win I just give it back. So I ask myself if nothing changes….nothing changes. Interesting that it always come back to me to change it.

Wishing you the best in your recovery!

[charmou]

Its always nice to come back and see that someone posted something kind. Thank you katrina. yes i am fine but not okay. This addiction is once again kicking my but and I am letting it.

Time to do something different.

Wishing you the best in your recovery.

[Kat37]

Hope u ok been off site few days stay strong u can beat this we all can day at time xx
Katrina

[p]

Sorry to hear this addiction has hold of you again but i am happy you have come back here, it shows you have that desire again to stop and thats what you need the want to really stop it.
Is there anything you can put in place to make it harder for you to gamble. If its easy then look for ways to stop you or to slow you down, theres lots of options, exclusion, GA, counselling, here.. one thing i found was adding fun thing s to your life.. making recovery fun is so important i think or we miss the false sense of fun we remember when gambling, though the fun went out of gamblign a long time ago for me its still part that i remember from long ago.. so by adding enjoyable things in to your life it makes you want to stay in recovery land more.. keep trying charmou, just dont give up on you, thats failure, success is you continually trying and not giving up on giving up

P

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