[Clarity]

Hi All,

its my first time to post but have read most pages on this forum , I’ve read through a lot of this forum over time mostly come here for inspiration in tough times but as all addicts know we dont look here when we are up , this is my problem , Time and time again I suffer huge loss , feel depressed , heal and start all over but I’ve reached the end and I’m suffering too much .

my story in short is I’ve been a  gambler for over 10 years , I lost the love of my life and house 2 years ago when she found out , I was devestated at the time and gave up gambling in the hope to win her back , that didn’t happen but through loss of gambling I found new strength and became a super positive person or so I thought, the truth is i possibly switched addictions to fitness instead . 

The gambler inside me won yet again and I was back at it , lost 6,000 I managed to build back up in less than a week and fell in to severe depression, Im now seeing another great girl and told myself I’d stop had saved back up the 6,000 lost earlier in the year yet again and still wasn’t happy and couldnt let go of the money I’d lost so used the 6k saved to try win it all back , and did 🙂 great , but that’s the trap and twisted thing about addiction, I felt like Superman and instead of drawing off everything and living happy I blew it all again and more .

i need advice on how to move on and accept what’s gone is gone , it’s easy say just move on but as an addict I can’t seem to let go and accept I’ve hit rock bottom , I can’t tell anyone as I cant face a repeat of before just want to learn how to accept it and how to deal with the guilt as I could have  done a lot of good with the money lost rather than have it to the bookies . 

Truth be known I’ve possibly lost the guts of 100k in my 10 year addiction and I can’t accept that 

please help 

[konj1978]

Hello

sorry to hear this story but i hope that you will win against your gambling.

Your last sentence is key factor in all process. I had same problems.
Look, its big money and its difficult to earn it or get it back.

you need first to recognize your gambling problems, then you need to stop gambling. after that you need to work and to put short term goals or plans about your treatment. Dont think and forget if you can debts, mobey, gambling. i know its difficult but work on it

[CraigMac6]

Hello Jay,

I had to post to your thread because a lot of things you are dealing with are similar to my gambling addiction. I think nearly all of us addicts suffer from giving up gambling for GOOD. As you said, you lose, go through a little depression , take some time off and clear you head to only place another bet and win back some of the money and sometimes even more than you originally lost. However, as addicts we have no control over our gambling and eventually give back everything we won plus more. Its a repetitive cycle. Lose, take time off, win, lose it all, take time off, win, lose it all, take time off, win, lose it all… I’m the exact same way. There have been many times when I have taken time off, only to win and think to myself, hey i can win at this. I can beat the books ; only to lose back off the winnings. I’ve finally come to the conclusion and truly believe I can and will never be able to beat the books. Yes I might run lucky and win from time to time but in the long run I will always be a losing player because I lack control and discipline when it comes to gambling.
I have also lost in excess of 100k over the course of my 10 plus years of gambling, so you are not alone. I have to be honest with you, you are going to have to accept that in order to move forward with your life. Yes its a very very difficult thing to accept but its the truth. No, we can never get that money back. Its gone but at the same time, we can find satisfaction in the fact we will never give another dime of our hard earned money to the bookies ever again. If we don’t quit, that 100k will turn into 200k then 300k and before you know it, we are looking back on life with those same thoughts „wow, I can’t live with knowing I gave 300k over the course of 30 years to my bookie.“ Because, as we both know, that’s exactly what will happen.
You made mention of you changing your lifestyle a few years back and becoming involved in fitness; why not give that another shot? Being active is great and the mental benefits can definitely help with this addiction.
I know you can beat this addiction. Its possible. We just have to take it one day at a time. Win today and nothing else matters. I do know you will have to let that loss of 100k go. You cant beat yourself up over. Many people have lost more. And thats not to compare your quit with anyone elses’ its just to say you are not alone. Others have giving up gambling, why cant we? Why cant we find happiness and success in other venues of life ? The truth is we can. We just give our all to our quits in order to achieve happiness outside of gambling. I’m up for it, and I hope you are as well. Have a great gamble free day!

[charles]

Hi Jay,

For me the serenity prayer helps – part of that is about accepting the things we can not change – one of the things none of us can change is the past.

The best advice when you are in a hole is to stop digging – dont let that 100k in losses turn into 150k…….200k etc it is a progressive addiction.

You want to stop gambling right now which is great. Now what actions can you take while you feel like that? Get yourself banned from where ever it is you usually gamble? Put other barries in place? Start using support – like regularly posting here, getting to Gambers Anonymous meetings, counselling etc.

Next time those urges return you will already have some bariers in place, already be using the support that will help you not place that next first bet.

Keep posting.

[Автор]

Публикации