[minimon]

Hi to all.

Today is exactly 1 year as I made the first bet. In fact it was the lottery ticket. But it doesn’t matter, in the end it became a casino.

I want to stop as this year took many years of my life. I am losongmy family and actually I don’t know what to do.

I wish the time machine exists and I can make another choice… heh.

Here is my story:

It’s difficult to say where to start.  Maybe I should start a bit earlier from May 2017.

So I had a really well-paid job as a project manager in IT company.  But I was thinking that more happy I will change the job. I did it even with a large decrease in my salary.
And only then I understood that my previous job was just excellent. Heh, we are all clever when it’s too late.
I decided to get back down in my carrier and to become a simple programmer. Found a job with even more salary decrease 🙂  I am a stupid man which is difficult to find in the world.

So that was a preface just to describe the situation when everything starts.

My father wanted to change his old car to a new one but parents simply didn’t have enough money for that. But the father had a possibility to borrow the missing amount. So I promised to help them by paying that debt on a monthly basis. It was just about a year ago, I think mid of August.

And in the September everything started: the father got in the road accident. Later when I was analyzing I think there wasn’t an accident but those people were rogues. But it was too late (again). But of the amount, I gave to the father (I had small savings) and the rest of the amount he took from their common saving with mother. But didn’t told to her. I promised to compensate that also because was believing that after the trial period at the new job my salary will be increased.
But it didn’t. The director of the company told that they cannot increase now and if I want to continue to work I have to agree on what I have now. It was simply not enough to pay for father’s car debt and to pay compensation for parent’s savings.

And I retired to seek another job. And tried to play on the exchange of bitcoin and other cryptocurrencies.  I got even more debts.

But there was a lucky moment also. I got the job at my first company which I left in May. Life is the really unpredictable thing.  The salary was not at the level as previously but at least enough to make a deep breath, take a pause and start small steps to get out of my own debts.

I don’t know why maybe I am too impatient but I decided to play on forex for classic currencies exchange.  I was thinking it is easy.  And I got even more debts than I had before.

All my trials to do something were leading to a worse situation than it was before.

And now when  I was analyzing all my previous year I understand that even at that moment I had a chance to fix everything but I continued searches for how to get money quickly. Did I tell that I am one of the stupidest men in the world?

And then I decided why not to try the roulette? I would just try to spend some definite amount and not more.  I tried and I won. I thought „wow, that was easy“.  And I tried again and I won.
And at that moment I even almost closed all my debts.
If I stop at that moment my life would be nice (better of course not to start at all).

But the devil inside of me told: „if it is so easy, try to win some money to get in plus balance“.  And I think that was the beginning of my end.
I lost a lot of money. I borrowed more and I was loosing in my trials to get at least some amount back.

At the end of July, I came with a huge debt but still in a theory I could pay it out within a couple of years.

At that moment my parents sold, at last, their apartment in my city (technically it was mine by documents but it was their one). And got money from the sale and put them in a bank safe. Part of that amount was mine (if you remember I help after the accident to the father) and I was planning to give it to the father so he can silently compensate what he took from common savings. And everything would be Ok and great.

But the devil inside of me told: „just try to play once again, from your part of the amount and get some small compensation for yourself“.

It was a catastrophe or cataclysm. I don’t know. I lost all my part of the money from the sale.
And now I couldn’t give it to the father and I was afraid of how to explain that t him. I wanted to help him.
I took my parent’s money. And I lost everything in a week. And if I thought that catastrophe was before, I understood that I was wrong. The catastrophe is now.

And currently, I am in the situation when on this week I have to pay out my debts (including the one for my own apartment which I had mortgaged previously, bring to father promised amount, try to buy out my phone, TV and office laptop from the pawnshop. And I cannot do that. My salary will cover on 1/10 of this payment.

And by the end of this month, I promised parents to bring them all their share from the sale. And I simply don’t have it.

I think that is the end.

The most horrible is even not the fact that they will stop communicating with me. (And that is 100% fact I know them). But the most horrible is that this news may hurt them. And taking into account their age I don’t know the result of that.
I will never forget it to myself.

In parallel, my son is living in the city with them and I am visiting periodically parents he comes to communicate with me. And again after everything will be clear I will lose that possibility. I don’t know yet how I will be able to see him.

That’s my story.
It took exactly 1 year to transform me from the lucky ( I understand now that), successful man into the bankrupt which is staying in one step of losing his family (son and parents).

––––––––––––––––––––

Now Ihave $100K debt and in theory it is sovable in 4-5 years. But short-term credits have no solutions.

And I don’t know how to be with my parents 🙁

[lizbeth4]

Hi. I’ve just read your story and I can’t image how you are feeling. Did you gamble today? Have you blocked/banned, put barriers up? Do you have a friend, someone you can confide in? It’s hard to go it alone. You are eventually going to have to tell your parents. Although it will be hard having to face their reactions, that’s your first step in recovery. The truth shall set you free. Maybe with time you can redeem yourself. Stay strong. Keep posting here.

[Jules618]

I’m so sorry to read your story. How very sad. Please keep posting and seek help. Take care.

[finding_laura]

Your ride to rock bottom was a fast one and you have hit very hard. I will tell you that it can get even worse. For some it leads to homelessness, insanity, jail or death. Telling your parents is going to be very difficult but what else can you do? You could lie or steal but that would only make things worse. I had to tell my husband when I had indebted us so much we would lose our home. I had been sick with worry for weeks since I realized I had reached the end of the financial road. I said it straight out, plain and honest. I have a bad gambling problem that I have been keeping a secret. I told him the financial damage with no sugar coating. I said how sorry I was and that I understood if he left me. But I knew I needed help or my life was never going to be anything but poverty and gambling. And part of getting help is being truthful to those we have financially hurt like this. So that we never put them in the place to hurt them again.

Can you get an addictions counselor?
Can you go to a Gamblers Anonymous meeting?
Can you find someone to help you with your money so that it goes where it is supposed to and not to a casino?
Can you get some financial advice?

These are things that may help you get through this tough time. We all make mistakes. No one asks for this addiction. If you would have known what would happen you never would have bought that first ticket. But you can recover. You can have a future. Your son can have a father in his life.

How are you doing today?
Laura

[charles]

Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

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