[LastPush]

This morning i woke up with a sick feeling in my stomach. God, i wish that feeling wasn’t so familiar to me… Yesterday i lost my savings once again, not only that but i have a debt of $8,000 to my name. Why i am doing this to me i wonder? Why the hell i keep destroying my life? 

I am in my late 20s and i keep doing the same mistake over and over again. I work my ass off -> make money -> make savings for a comfortable near future -> lose all my savings for a couple of days. Where is my family i wonder? Why i am paying rent when i could have bought 3 houses with the money i wasted?

I don’t enjoy slots or any type of casino game, my one and only nightmare are the sport betting. I feel like i always know what the outcome of a game will be, i have edge over the bookies, but the reality is that i just keep making a fool out of myself. I want to stop this and the day has come!

Recently I quit my solid job so I can chase a dream of mine. It was pretty good decision, when i had savings for at least 12-15 months… now all i got is around $500 that will barely feed me for the next month, at least i paid my rent recently. I could multiply my money easy if i bet the money to a game. But what if i lose them? 

I keep playing the role of the golden boy in the family, with the solid degree and a nice job, who was always finding ways to earn money since high school. Where is that boy? I could say it was killed by my betting addiction, but nah, it is still there. I know i can find my ways to recover. It would not be the first or the second time…

But why should i make efforts to recover, if it is just matter of time before i do the same mistake of wasting my money for a couple of days? Why can’t i just give up and end my misery? Nope, it wouldn’t be my style i guess.

I think i am done! Before you jump into conclusions, let me clarify that i am not done with my participation into the livings. I am done with my gamblind addiction. I am sick and tired of living my sad life, when i could be anything i want. I ve been betting for around 10 years and i knew it was a problem for a long time, but i never really wanted to stop it. Now i do! I honestly want to stop betting. And I believe i will. I won’t even waste my time to close my betting accounts. The truth is that if you want to gamble, you will find a way no matter how many websites you blocked. So i will not waste even a minute more in the betting world! 

This morning i woke up with a sick feeling in my stomach. I took a shower, i asked myself some hard questions in the mirror. I made a healthy breakfast, i read a book and then went to the gym. I took another shower and then started working over my dream project. I cant remember the last time i had such an amazing day. I am done being depressed. I am done complaining about the development of my life. I can’t change the past, i am who i am because of the poor decisions i ve made in my 20s. I accept that, it is what it is. Now do what you have to do! Just do it!

[dunc]

Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[Meghna83]

My advice would be to close the gambling accounts. They will be a place to turn to at low points. Ban yourself please and put more barriers in place

[Dave43]

I am going thru the same pain and I truly believe that you will never go back to gambling again. I can totally agree with Meghna83 message, that you should close the gambling accounts like an old book.

[LastPush]

Thanks for the comments and support guys. Last few days passed pretty easy, betting a game wasn’t in my mind at all. However i have to recover $8,000 in the next 40-50 days, so i have to work my ass off… hopefully i can do it. The hard part will come if i really manage to boost my finance status in next months. With some money to my name, i hope i will actually manage to not consider betting my savings. Yesterday i watched a game just for the sake of the sport. I love all kind of sports, but i really cant remember the last time i watched any without putting my money on the risk at it…

[i-did-it]

Hi LastPush
Well done on your decision to seek help. It helps me to remember I have a choice in any behaviour I do. So I have a choice to get washed, to get out and do stuff , do earn money and yes to gamble.
At times the urges to gamble can be so strong it feels like we don’t have a choice – but we always do. Just some choices are much harder to follow through on.

It sounds like you are making a lot of good behavioural choices right now !

Keep strong .

[Dark Energy]

this is the needed spirit, keep it up.
forget all your losses, the gambling is not the way to win back what you have lost even partially, and i believe you knew that by now.
i suggest to work on strategies to prevent the relapse and to reduce the cost of relapse if it happened. this is very important from my case I know if i relapsed i will keep trading “gambling” till the last cent that i have access to it.
relapse that cost a 500$ is less harmful than a relapse that costs 5,000 or 50,000$.
so keeping a barrier between you and your extra money is very important, I knew the perfect solution is to involve a close family member and give him the control so he can help you controlling your self. if you can do it this will help a lot.

[LastPush]

I really prefer to not worry my family with my gambling problems. The truth is that i ve been hidding my demons from them for such a long time, that i am too afraid to expose the hard reality i am trapped in. 

Another problem is that, some of my closest friends are also betting involved. We have spent so many weekends just drinking, betting and watching sports that i am pretty sure that if i want to end my betting addiction, i will have to reduce my meetings with them for some time. 

I kind of feel like if i move out of town or even the country will help me fight my addiction. Its like i really need fresh start so maybe if i manage to collect some money in the near future i might think over that idea more serious. I can work mobile from any part of the world, all i need is a laptop and internet access, so maybe travel out of the country/town for some time will definitele benefit my situation. 

[Dark Energy]

actually i am in the same condition i kept my addiction hidden from my family due to many reson (shame, guilt, als I am afraid on them how they will deal with it how they will absourb that I have become an addict!

i found a solution for me, where i am living in a country and my family living in another country so i have oppened ajoint account in the contry where my family is living and whatever i am sending there is saved, and it out of this game. I am not touching that money, it is away from me even if i relapced. this gives me confidance that i still have some money some where and i will not lose every thing again even if I relapsed.

it is not the perfect solution but i hope i will reach to stage where i can get one family member involved on controlling my money this will be another factor to prevent the relapse.

this is a huge part trust me, it is dificult to admit that “once a gamblers always a gamblers” i didn’t admit it till now but after two yesrs of traills it seams correct “once a gambler always a gambler”, so we have to build our stratigies to fight back at the times when we have a full control and our mind is clear so once the urge started we will be in better position to fight back and even if the relapse happened it will be controlled.

[Dark Energy]

hi lastpush,
how is going on? i hope every thing is OK.
keep posting this will helps you.

[charles]

Hi LastPush. well done on looking for help

Someone in your family could help you with accountabiliy and/or financial barriers.

“The hard part will come if i really manage to boost my finance status………”

Well the money will return, put things in place that will make it harder for you to gambel when it does.

Now, your friends. It is up to you if/what you tell them about your problem. What is really important though is that you tell them you have decided to stop gambling. Oherwise you will keep geting the gambling invites, keep getting included in the gambling conversations.

If they are friends then here are lots of other thigns you can do with them. If no then maybe they are just gambling acquaintances. A few “I don’t gamble any more so I’m not interested”s and he conversation will change.

It maybe of course hat there will be less gambling weekends anyway – I dreaded the same with my friends – turned out that it had been me who instigated them anyway!

Keep posting.

[Bndet99]

I have a very similar problem when it comes to sports betting. My sports betting has increased drastically since the legalization of it. There is casino 15 minutes from my home and I am constantly fighting urges to go and bet on a game. Fight the good fight brother. Do not gamble.

[LastPush]

Full week without betting. I am doing fine, but i can definitely say i am missing the excitment in my daily routine.With betting at least i was getting some adrenalin rush, now i feel kind of dull. I guess i have to find some hobbies that will give me some excitement, but with betting everything was just so easy. You click two buttons, you watch the game, you pop up a beer and pray for your team/player. When the game is going good you feel such a pleasure deep down inside you, like you are the smartest guy in the world, sitting in a chair, watching sport and making money.

I am aware that these feelings are wrong, but i decided to just put my thoughts in a paper. Any suggestions for a healthy hobbies that might replace the excitement i was receiving from betting? I guess i am open to try new things now…

[Bndet99]

Reading, biking, and writing are a few hobbies that I enjoy and help me pass time. I’m looking into some a little more competitive with strategy I guess to mimic the rush you speak about. My whole thing is my iPhone is a gateway to info; researching sports kind of takes me away from the nonsense in the news. I guess that’s the part I enjoy is looking into the games; however, it is giant waste of time and money in the long run. Just like you, I’m trying to find a hobby or task where I can concentrate those efforts.

[MurrS7]

That sick feeling you felt I have felt over 500 times in 10 years. I have won big, lost bigger, won it all back, broke even, then lost it all again and more of my own more times that I can *****. Trust me you are not alone and you can be gamble free if you
Truly want it. I am day 22 gamble free after a -17k binge in 48 hours putting me -14k into debt with the bank. That’s the worst it’s gotten for me and I know it’s nothing compared to some but it all relative- I’m not rich. I feel your pain and if you stop now like I am trying to, we are young enough to rebuild our finances and never look back, but better yet beat this addiction. I’m chipping at my debt now from gambling, I still
Think of losses daily but I’m trying to stay busy. Take up the gym, recreational sports, find a good partner- etc. You can beat this and you will be able
To watch sports again and enjoy your fav sport and fav team without having a bet placed on it- trust me. You don’t stop
Now then there’s no telling how deep this hole can get. I’m rooting for you bro, I’m in the same boat as you- as days go on , I forget about
The losses a bit more than yesterday. Keep going, work hard, grind hard, find purpose… gambling will
Never be a career, we will all lose in the end, more than just money, we will lose the years of happiness and youth. God
Bless brother

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