[DNcanada]

I have just joined and wil be coming on here often.
I just about died tonight after I did my tax return needing to pay $3600 because I cashed in all my rrsps and any other extra money I had. I’ve probably spent $60000 in the fast few years and I’m flat broke now. Co signed on a loan for my son that’s he’s not paying on and I’ve had to pay that too. I can’t do it anymore. I gamble on line and at casinos and I can’t stop. I’m seeing a counsellor also and he’s offered meetings but I haven’t gone. How can I stop. I don’t want to lose my job, house and family. I want to play all the time. I’ve also done the banning thing twice now but then I just turned to online gambling. It’s a vicious circle and I think I need to hear some recovery stories. Thanks.

[charles]

Hi DN, well done on looking for help.

Read the other stories here, you will see a lot of things that you will relate to. You will also see the success stories – what are they doing that you can apply to your own situation?

Well done on getting banned from those casinos. Did you know that you can get excluded from online sites as well? That you can get a blocker for your PC that will stop you visiting any gambling site?

How can you stop? Well the most important advice I can ever give anyone is to use the help that is available – if your counsellor has offered you meetings then get to those meetings. Gamblers Anonymous is another good option. If we could do it on our own then we wouldn’t have a problem in the first place.

Keep posting and let us know the positive steps that you are taking.

[DNcanada]

Well did it again. Went to the casino after banning myself for 7 months, hoping to win a bit of money and I lost more than I could afford. I’m so stressed about not having my money that I go play to chase the money. I see other people win and I just kept losing. I came home defeated again and couldn’t stop crying and feeling guilty. Why is it we are at our worst and then 2 days later you forget about that meltdown you had and go back and try again. I’m going to go read some other stories now. How long did it take for you to stop and what made you quit. I’m struggling just being able to stop.

[Paul2017]

You are not alone .

You have done the lot but you keep going back !- like me, like all of us on this site – if there was one thing that I would advise you to do – keep coming to this site, every night – join the groups, listen to the people who are gamble free and ACT on their advice – I am learning this, you have to “listen to the people who have become gamble free”…

if you don’t – you will keep on gambling and become a man that is like me, you lose your house, i;ve lost 2, blow over 500k , lose your family and friends and then have nothing by the time you are 50 – and have a child who needs you but you have nothing to give….

Join the groups…. trust me , it is a good place to start – the people are great at listening, great at helping and ACT on their advice…. this is the best place to get daily help and that is what we CG’s need… daily support to start recovery. You need to do this for you, no one else – YOU.

You are not alone.

Paul

[DNcanada]

Thanks Paul for the advice. I will look for those stories. A friend called me today to see if I was going down to the casino. I said no at first but of course ended up going down later. I won a few hundred and instead of leaving I stayed and lost it all trying to win more and lost more because I went to the bank machine twice. Spent more money than I could afford. Messed up again. Forgot all about my meltdown the day before.

[DNcanada]

I went to a woman’s support group meeting tonight and it was really good. I need to go more often. I did not gamble today.

[vera]

Hi DN and welcome to GT
The line that stood out to me, in your first post, was “I want to play all the time”. I can relate to that! I learned, along the way though, that a Compulsive Gambler can only play for a certain time i.e. until the money runs out. To elaborate, A CG will ALWAYS play until the money runs out. Here comes the next line.” I want to play all the time, but I can’t handle the consequences”. Herein lies the reality of compulsive gambling, DN. We cannot have the “thrill” without the “hangover”. “Fun” and “Grief” always go hand in hand, so the question we need to answer is not “How do I stop” but “How do I cut this torture out of my life?” You have answered your own question. STOP GAMBLING!
With regard to your son, DN, I am presently going through a most horrendous situation with my son (same age as your son). If you want to know where bailing out leads, read my thread.
The reason we keep going back to the “scene of the crime” is quite clear. The human mind has a mechanism which obliterates bad memories and boosts pleasant experiences.
Gambling is an illusion, DN. Until we break through that falsehood, we will be forever a Gambling Slave.
Try to take it hour by hour. Every hour that you don’t gamble is a success. The hours turn to days . The days to weeks. The weeks to months and on it goes. Gambling wrecks lives and steals EVERYTHING from us. It is possible to reclaim your “Everything”.
One day at a time.
Stay focused!

[charles]

Hi DN, First of all I saw that on another thread you queried the need to put a heading to replies. You don’t need to, if you don’t put a heading in then it will just use the first few words fo your post, as it will have done for this one.

Now a couple bits of practical advice that are important from what you have posted so far.

First of all your friend who invited you to go gambling with them? It is up to you if, or how much, you tell them about your problem but it is pretty much essential that you tell them that you ahve decided to stop gambling. I just told people I was fed up with losing! If you don’t do that then they will invite you again…..and again…. and again…….. Don’t make an excuse as to why you can’t gamble on a specific occcasion either… if you do that then again there will be no reason for them to stop asking you.

If theya re a real friend then of course there will be other non gambling activities that you can do with them.

You also said that you gambled after banning yourself for 7 months? Why 7 months? Get a lifetime ban, get whatever ban is the maximum the casino does.

Well done on getting to that support group. Keep going, keep posting here.

Maybe let us know how you are filling your gamble free time.

[DNcanada]

Thanks all for the advice. Short and sweet tonight as I need to get to sleep. I made it 5 days and then my sister wanted to go to casino for her birthday, her 50th. We went and of course I spent too much than I could afford. She had won $1000 and then asked me, a CG, to hold her money so she doesn’t lose it again. But she kept asking for it bit by bit and I gave it to her thinking she could win it back. She lost it all so we both came out of there losing. We both have a problem with not being able to leave and be happy with what we have. I got so mad that I went back the next day to try and win some back and it was terrible. Another $500 gone. I didn’t go today and I’m going to my group meeting Monday and counsellor Friday. I’m getting tired of losing. I want a vacation and new appliances. Not anymore debt. I need a vision board.

[charles]

OK DN. In the same way that I said you needed to tell your friend you also need to speak to your sister. People need to know that have decided to stop gambling. If your sister wants to go to the casino then that is her choice, you accompanying her though shouldn’t be an option.

You also seem to have fairly easy access to quite large sums of money – how can you change that?

Make sure you get banned from that casino, for life/the longest option that they give.

Keep posting.

[DNcanada]

I don’t have large sums of money. It’s just my pay and some of my pay plan is a monthly bonus. Some are good months and some are bad. I’m spending my pay and not saving and holding off paying bills. I told my sister to tell her friend not to ask me anymore to go and I told her that she, my own sister, is a trigger for me because of when she asks to go and tells me when she goes and wins. We both have to stop. I think she is ready to try also. I went to my women’s support group again and it was just 2 of us because the weather was bad but gave us opportunity to talk more. There is a week long session coming up in April which is daily speakers and therapy sessions which I think I need to attend. I have to take a week off work though but I could use the break anyway. I did go play again this week and lost of course and feel like I keep starting over. When does it kick in that enough is enough.

[finding_laura]

Hi D,

I don’t know if it ever “kicked” in for me that enough was enough until it was almost impossible to avoid financial calamity without a herculean effort. I wa a 38 year old woman who ended up needing a financial bail out from her parents to avoid losing my family’s house. And my husband found out I really had a problem then and there. The longer we gamble the bigger the hole we dig, the longer it is going to take to get out. And we sure as heck won’t win our way out, cause if we win it just goes right back in. We can’t control ourselves. We need to find ways to have our money controlled so we don’t have access. We don’t tell people that we are done gambling, because quite often we don’t really want them to stop asking us to go. What I wanted for a long time was to be be able to control my gambling. But what I needed was to stop the cycle of insanity. Can’t believe I jumped back into it! Good to see you in group. Laura

[DNcanada]

It’s a constant battle. I played again, won again and lost it all again. What I win is never enough so I just play what I do win to try and win more and then, yes, the hole just gets deeper. More depression and less money for food and gas for the week. I go to a group meeting and then go to the casino after because it’s close by. How pathetic is that. Who would have ever thought I would be in this situation. Well just going to read some of your posts now because reading and writing on here does help.

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