I think my night mare disorientated me today , I feel like my mind ran a marathon .
My gambling addiction started in 2009 when I went to Las Vegas and never stopped since than , I had to leave my boyfriend as I was blaming him for taking me there and got me into this habbit.
I was out of control so I moved back to my parents for few years and rented my house . I went out and enjoyed my self that helped for a bit but I went back in to it again .
I broke down and was so suicidal so told my mother all about it but there was nothing she could do to help me rather than shouting at me she was so disappointed of me as my dad was a gambler and he still is , worst of it all her current husband is also a gambler so she thought it’s her fault and kept blaming her self .
We managed to over come this , I got rid of my iPhone and started using a crappy phone no internet this lasted for few months and I thought I was over it so brought a iPhone and back at it again and it’s been like a yoyo since than .
I met with a incredible boyfriend and we now have a child but my addiction is getting worst as we have money problem so I am at it all the time . The last straw for me was few days ago when I gambled all our money on our joint account so I got no money to spend till payday . I never done this before so I know it’s getting dangerous so i need to get help.
I am in Essex very close to london. There re meeting here but I got till Tuesday to build up courage to go being a women is hard to admit we have a problem.
My only addiction before this was smoking and I stopped just like that and it’s been 10 years . I never had any other addiction what so ever so it’s upsetting . I haven’t even brought nice clothes for months and it’s upsetting .
This time I need to beat this , I need to do it for my self & my son .
