My triggers
1. Abuse and bullying I live in an extremely abusive, toxic and corrupt country. I have been bullied at work to the point of almost being raped. At this point I had started a serious gambling binge to escape emotionally. I have since found a way to remove myself from the environment but I had to accept a lower ranking and a lower paying job which I’m still struggling to accept. I feel a deep rooted disgust for the system and cannot accept the unfairness of it all.
2. Debt, gambling losses and money issues This is now my number one trigger. Due to number one I have fallen into number two.
3. The unfairness of life and being single For reasons beyond my understanding, I have been cursed with an inability to find a suitable partner. As a result I have all this repressed and built up feminity and sexuality that I have nowhere to release. I’m burning inside, yet there is no outlet for me. Sex for sex itself does not work. I ‘ve tried.
4. Boredom with work and the absence of challenges
5. Not having the patience to preservere for 5 yrs until I pay off my debts
6. Living a meaningless existence while deep down I’m so full of life and emotion